My Big Fat Creepy Roommate
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Having been kicked out of his parents' house, Justin moves into a new apartment block close to the beach. Unfortunately, there is only one resident who is willing to be Justin's roommate, and the feeling isn't mutual. WARNING: this may very well be one of the most disturbing stories you have ever read on the site.
1. Owen-ly One Option

**This idea has been suggested to me courtesy of I'll Cover Angel and Collins and I knew from that point onwards I needed to write this story. This is set a few years after the climax of _Total Drama_. So here it is.**

**WARNING: Some scenes may give you nightmares, and some of the characters are OOC.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Owen-ly One Option

* * *

Justin returned home from the studio, crying his eyes dry. His mam heard him coming in the front door and asked:

"Justin, why are you crying?"

"Oh Mom, it was horribly!" wailed Justin. "I was coming home from my first day of modelling at the studio from across the street when a bunch of thugs beat me up, stole my left shoe, stole my wallet and stabbed me in the right shoulder with a knife!"

"WHAT?!" shrieked Justin's mam, turning her head to see cuts, bruises and blood all over her son, who was also missing a shoe. "OH MY GOD, THIS IS HORRIBLE! YOU ARE UGLY! NEVER AGAIN WILL I BE ABLE TO BASK IN THE GLORY OF BEING THE MOTHER OF A SEXY BEAST! YOU'RE UGLY! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU FREAK!"

"FINE!" sobbed Justin, angry with his mam for being a bitch. "Just let me get my stuff!"

"You have ten minutes!" his mother snarled. "Then I want you gone and out of my life! Is this how you repay me after everything I've done for you?!"

Justin ignored her and went upstairs to get his stuff. He packed his clothes, his make-up, his grooming supplies, his shower gel, his shampoo, his conditioner, his shoes, C$150,000 which he kept in his safe, his spare ID card and passport, a first aid kit, his car keys, his mobile phone, his charger and, of course, his mirror. After putting bandages, plasters and cream on his wounds, he proceeded to stuff his items all into two suitcases and heaved them down the long staircase towards the front door. It was hot, heavy work, as he was used to having his maids carry his luggage for him. But Justin didn't care. He was ugly and his parents hate him now, so there's nothing left to live for. Sure, he could commit hara-kiri, but what if he survived? He'd be in a huge mess, and Justin didn't want to chance it.

As Justin was dragging his suitcases on the streets of Vancouver, British Columbia, he stopped when he noticed a poster on a lamppost. It was advertising accommodation at a luxury apartment block close to the beach. According to the poster, benefits that came with living in one of the apartments were free Wi-Fi, satellite TV, weekly refuse collection, maintenance, free use of the laundry room in the basement, electricity, heat, running water, free parking, direct mail from the postman, an outdoor swimming pool and scenic views of the beach. The location was also great, as the apartment block was near shops, a post-office, a park, the beach and best of all, a beauty spa. But the best part was that the rent was only C$500 a month. Justin smiled as he stuffed his luggage in the boot of his car (which he accidentally left in the car park the day before while going shopping), hopped in the driver's seat and drove off. Things were finally looking up for the former model.

* * *

Justin pulled into the car park outside the apartment block and climbed out of his car. He was so happy he hardly noticed the blood and guts on the wheels of his car. You see, Justin was so used to being chauffeured he could hardly remember how to drive. He was so terrible at it; he drove through several buildings and public gardens, and ran over around twenty-something police officers. Because the police officers were assholes, nobody cared, so Justin would've gotten away with it anyway.

So anyway, Justin pulled his luggage out of the boot and went up to a booth where an intern stood and asked if there were any accommodation available.

"We're sorry, but all of the apartments are full," the intern replied, bouncing up and down because he desperately needed to go to the toilet.

"Do you even know who I am?!" demanded Justin.

"Yes, you're Justin from _Total Drama_!" the intern groaned, rolling his eyes and jumping up and down at the same time. "The same show _I_ was an intern of, where Chris treated me like shit! Now he's forcing me to work here for the rest of my life! Basically, I'm not his intern! I'm his _slave_!"

"Wait a minute?" Justin paused. "Does Chris own his place?!"

"As a matter of fact, he does," the intern replied. "In fact, you are the only former contestant who does not live here."

"Then you got to let me live here!" Justin begged. "I'll even share accommodation if I have to!"

"Fine," the intern sighed. He knew when he was beaten. "Hey Millicent! Will you cover for me while I find someone willing to share accommodation with Justin and while I'm going to the bathroom afterwards?!"

"Actually, I'll show him around, Kim," Millicent, the other intern, offered.

"But I have to go to the bathroom!" the intern in the booth, Kim, protested. Millicent ignored him and took Justin's luggage. Justin, who was unnerved by the inappropriate given names for the interns, followed the intern into the building and was like:

"So is this place good?"

"Not for us," Millicent grunted. "But for the former co-hosts and stars of _Total Drama_, yes; this place is paradise."

"So where am I staying?" Justin wondered.

"We'll have to find someone who's willing to share accommodation with you first," said Millicent. He stopped at a door and knocked on it. Courtney answered the door. She was wearing a purple bathrobe and purple rabbit slippers. She was also sweating.

"F*** off, Millicent!" barked Courtney. "I don't know what you want, but I don't care! Get out and leave me alone!"

"But-" the intern protested.

"PISS OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!" Courtney roared, slamming the door in the intern's face. Millicent sighed and said:

"Well I guess that's one apartment ruled out. Let's try next door, shall we?" Millicent went up to another door and knocked on it. There was no answer.

"Who lives there?" asked Justin.

"Gwen," Millicent replied. Then he realised something. "Actually, I don't think it would be wise to ask if she's willing to share accommodation with you"

Justin raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Justin, did you blackmail her, manipulate your gullible teammates into ganging up on Gwen with you, trap her into encouraging your team to vote Trent out and forcing her into voting herself out in the following challenge at the beginning of _Total Drama Action_?"

"Yeah, I suppose her reaction would be similar to Courtney's," Justin sighed. "But Courtney treated her even worse in _Total Drama World Tour _than _I_ did in _Total Drama Action_? Why is Gwen living next door to her?"

"I suppose she prefers to keep her enemies closer, and so too does Courtney, I guess," Millicent informed the former model. "Speaking of which, don't waste your time with Beth either. She regrets taking your side of the story back when Gwen broke up with Trent, voting against Izzy just for saying you're not hot enough and overall being associated with you. Don't even be surprised if she were to kick you in the balls." Justin sighed as he and Millicent continued their quest.

Meanwhile, in Courtney's apartment, Courtney enters her bedroom, which has a warm, glowing atmosphere of lavender red. Courtney gently closes the door behind her and strips out of her bathrobe, revealing a lilac bikini bottom and bra.

"So where were we?" Courtney asked seductively.

"Getting right down to business," Gwen, who was donning a midnight blue bra and bikini bottom and was lying stretched across Courtney's bed, replied, also in a seductive tone. Courtney grinned as she climbed back onto Gwen and they resumed making out.

* * *

Unfortunately for Justin, Courtney, Gwen and Beth were not the only ones who turned down the model's request to share accommodation. Bridgette and Geoff, who were engaged, certainly weren't going to let another adult move in with them. Being a couple was also the reason why Mike and Zoey, Alejandro and Heather, Sam and Dakota and Noah and Cody were having none of it. Besides, none of these couples liked Justin anyway, especially Noah and Cody, considering that Noah threatened to shoot Justin with an M1911 pistol if he didn't leave within five seconds. That surprised neither Justin nor Millicent.

However, it was not just the couples who refused to let Justin into their apartments. Eva nearly massacred Justin and Millicent when they interrupted her boxing session. Ezekiel was literally stating the word 'no' when he bit Justin's left arm. LeShawna slammed the door in Justin's face; obviously having remembered his actions on _Total Drama Action_. Brick refused to share accommodation with a lazybones, _especially_ a lazybones like Justin. Lightning didn't want to share an apartment with a girl (and he mentally believes that Justin is a girl because of his effeminate mannerisms). Duncan simply punched Justin in the face just for opening his mouth. DJ told Justin that it went against every moral fibre in his body to permit a backstabber to be his roommate. If it was any consolation, he apologised for turning Justin away. Dawn said she sensed a terrible aura coming off of Justin. Cameron said he preferred to live with a schizophrenic army veteran like Chef Hatchet than with Justin.

Speaking of which, Chef Hatchet ate the face off of Justin for not standing up straight and refused to let him enter the apartment because of this, even though he was generally attracted to Justin before that awkward encounter. B simply shrugged and closed the door when Millicent asked him the question. Anne Marie sprayed the intern and the model simply because she was having her period. Scott told Justin and Millicent to f*** off and slammed the door. Katie and Sadie surprised both Justin and Millicent when they literally told Justin to "f*** off and shove (his) pretty face up his ass", adding that he was the main obstacle to their friendship and also a liar. Even Staci was repelled by the thought of living with Justin.

"Okay, so that leaves only ten people who are willing to share accommodation with you," said Millicent, knocking on a door.

"You are not knocking on the door properly, GOSH!" Harold snapped when he answered.

"Excuse me?" Justin wondered, before Millicent could stop him.

"The proper way to knock on a door is to knock on the door three times and subsequently utter the name of the person who you would prefer to answer the door, and finally repeat this process three times," Harold replied. "Has Sheldon Cooper, the main character of the series _The Big Bang Theory_ and who is played by Jim Parsons, not taught you anything? IDIOT!"

"Please don't ask Harold a question ever again," Millicent warned Justin, who immediately regretted knocking on Harold's door. He turned to Harold and said: "Look Harold; he just needs an apartment in this block. However, since there is no empty apartment, Justin needs a roommate."

"And he wants to move in with me?" Harold finishes for Millicent. Millicent and – very reluctantly – Justin nodded. "Fair enough. But Justin must first answer this extremely easy question."

"Aw come on!" whined Justin, who hadn't a notion of answering trivial questions.

"Do you intend to share accommodation with me and thus be my roommate, or do you wish to look elsewhere, where you will experience considerably less luck with ever having a chance to live in this building?!" Harold demanded.

Justin sighed. He knew when he was beaten. "Fine. What's your riddle?"

"What word becomes longer when you remove the letter 'u'?" Harold asked.

"Um…" Justin pondered. His mind was blank. "Uh, what word becomes longer by dropping the 'u'? Hmm. I…"

"Oh my God, it's _**LOUNGER**_!" Harold snarled. "You unintelligent moron! You intellectually weak buffoon! Curse your shortage of intelligence! GOSH!" He slammed the door shut. Justin blinked his eyes and looked at Millicent oddly.

"Yeah… now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have bothered knocking on Harold's door," the intern sheepishly stated. "You probably would have to sign some roommate agreement and abide by the terms of that agreement. Trust me: you live with him, and you would rather live with Sheldon Cooper from _The Big Bang Theory_. You've watched _The Big Bang Theory_, haven't you?"

"Not really, but I'm familiar with it, though," Justin replied. "My colleagues at my modelling studio never shut up about that show."

"Watch it," Millicent advised the model. "It's probably the only way you'd get to make sense of Harold's tendencies."

"In that case, I'd better go ahead and buy all seasons of the show on Blu-ray," said Justin, rolling his eyes. Millicent nodded and knocked on a different door. Jo answered it and politely said:

"Mill Straight, what a pleasant surprise!"

"Yeah, I prefer to be called Millicent," Millicent smiled feebly. "But it's great to see you too nonetheless. I was wondering if you are willing to become roommates with Justin."

"Hmm, let me think about it, Millicent Straight," Jo said. She rubbed her right cheek with her right index finger for a couple of seconds. Then she closed the door shut and locked it.

"You interns sure have weird names," Justin interjected. "Does Chris pick them out for you guys or do you just happen to have weird parents?"

"Can we not talk about it, please?" the intern groaned as they moved further down the hall.

* * *

Justin and Millicent were screaming from the bottoms of their lungs as they scurried out of Izzy's apartment.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Izzy roared, standing right at her door. "YOU'D BETTER RUN!" She lowered her machete and retrieved back into her apartment.

"My God, I never would've thought Izzy would try to _kill_ me!" Justin gasped, as he and Millicent leaned against a wall so they can catch their breaths.

"What was your first clue?" Millicent demanded. "You have been high on her murder list ever since you convinced Lindsay and Beth to vote her out just because she said you weren't hot enough. She's even more dangerous with people she doesn't like when she's sexually harassing Blaineley."

"That information could have been more useful five minutes ago!" Justin growled.

"Well _sorry_, but I didn't think you would knock on a door even after I've specifically told you not to!" snapped Millicent, defiantly putting his hands up. He went up to another door and knocked on it nine times.

"Why did you knock on it nine times?" Justin asked.

"If I _didn't_ knock on it nine times, Trent would kill me nine times," Millicent replied. "Or so he'd try. The last eight times would be useless, but avoid telling him that. I'm warning you: the number nine is the _only_ thing that can save you while you're living with him."

Trent answered the door after turning nine locks and said "hello Millicent" nine times. He also said "hello Justin" nine times when he noticed Justin.

"Dude, you only had to greet us _once_!" Justin snapped. Trent looked at him blankly for a second. Before Justin knew it, Trent was squirming through Millicent's grip, trying to lunge for Trent.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Trent threatened. "I'LL KILL YOU NINE TIMES AND I'LL BURY YOUR BODY NINE FEET DEEP INTO THE GROUND WHERE NO-ONE WILL FIND IT! AND WHEN I'M DONE, I WILL KILL YOUR NINE CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBERS AND I'LL KILL THEM NINE TIMES EACH! I'M ON TO YOU, NINE-HATER!"

Millicent finally found the strength to push Trent off of him, throw the musician back in his apartment and shut the door. He turned to Justin and said:

"I am really beginning to think you lack a filter between your brain and your mouth." Before Justin could say something insulting to the intern about his name, a commotion can be heard further down the hall.

"Lindsay, _I_ am the real Tyler!" Tyler begged.

"No, I'm pretty sure you're not Tyler," said Lindsay. "_This_ is the real Tyler," she stated, pointing at Sierra who was wearing a red tracksuit and sweatband while giving off a goofy smile. Her hair has also grown to it's full length but it wasn't dyed purple. This reveals that Sierra is naturally a brunette.

"That's Sierra disguised as me!" Tyler protested.

"No, I'm pretty sure that's Tyler," said Lindsay, dismissively, before following 'Tyler' into the apartment she shares with Sierra, prompting the real Tyler to fall to his knees and cry.

"No way," Justin chuckled. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"That's not nice, Justin," Millicent corrected him. "His girlfriend is very lost right now. This isn't helped by the fact that some creepy fan-girl is taking advantage of this."

"I thought Sierra was all over Cody," Justin said.

"Yeah, that's what Sierra, Cody and Noah _want_ you to believe," Millicent informed Justin. "You see, they are gay and proud of it, but because _Total Drama_ is a kids' show and the producers wanted to air the show in the States, they were feigning heterosexuality. Actually, they were taking it way too far. Sierra pretended to be obsessed with Cody and Cody pretended to be repelled by her, when in reality, they are best friends. They did have fun faking it, though."

"I can see why Noah was being an ass during the dodge-ball challenge and why Cody was hitting on Gwen so much," said Justin, rolling his eyes.

"The funny thing is: Cody forgot to inform Gwen that he was only faking being straight," said Millicent. "She therefore thought of him as a stalker until Noah told her and Duncan the truth when they moved in. By the way, Sierra is very territorial around her love interest, which is probably why she and Cody took their charade too far. So let's not ask her and Lindsay if they want to share their apartment with you."

"Okay," said Justin, shrugging. He went up to Tyler and said: "Hey Tyler, I know this is a bad time, but are you willing to be roommates with me?"

Tyler stopped sobbing and looked up at Justin, glaring at the model. "Hell no!" he snapped. "You manipulated my Lindsay just like the way Alejandro manipulated my Lindsay and the way Sierra is manipulating my Lindsay right now! Well if you think I have forgotten this; you've got another thing coming!" And with that, Tyler lunged for Justin. But he missed and fell out an open window instead.

"That's gonna be one long fall," Justin bluntly stated. "He'll be sore for a few days. So who's left?"

"There is Blaineley," said Millicent, "but Izzy will murder you if you move in with her. Besides, Blaineley hates you just as much as she hates everyone else on the show."

"Also, her real name is Mildred," Chris smirked, who happened to be passing. "Though it isn't as bad as your name, Millicent. That's a girl's name! Ha!"

"Shut up!" snarled Millicent. "You made me change to that name! You gave every male intern a woman's name and every female intern a man's name!"

"That's because I'm awesome!" smiled Chris.

"Whatever!" groaned Millicent, rolling his eyes. "Listen: are you willing to take Justin as your roommate? There are no empty apartments available and he's desperate for a roommate."

"What do you think my answer to that question is going to be?" demanded Chris.

"But I'm desperate!" Justin begged.

"Well it's not my problem!" Chris jeered. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go spy on Duncan while he jerks off to himself! That dude's been crushed ever since his breakup with Gwen! Later!" And so Chris climbed out the window onto the fire-escape to go look into Duncan's bedroom through the window. Justin and Millicent rolled their eyes.

"I can see why Gwen and Duncan weren't living together," said Justin. "Why did they break up anyway?"

"It was the exact same reason Duncan cheated on Courtney," Millicent pointed out. "Duncan only dated Courtney and Gwen because he was a sex addict. Though the two girls didn't give him much love either. Courtney just wanted a servant, but she has us as slaves so she has probably gotten over the break up by now; Gwen was just desperate for a significant other because she wanted to continue double-dating with Bridgette and Geoff, and Trent was already off his rocker by that point. Even if she stayed with Trent, he would've gone incurably insane and killed her nine times anyway."

"But Bridgette and Geoff hate Duncan," said Justin.

"They got used to him by the end of _Total Drama Action_ and vice versa," said Millicent. "Anyway, I'm afraid there is only one last option left about your accommodation anomaly."

"And?" Justin eagerly asked.

"Well let's give it a shot," said the intern, knocking on the door. Heavy footsteps sounded. Justin froze. He immediately realised who was living behind that door.

"OH MY GOD _JUSTIN_!" squealed the resident of the apartment when he answered the door. "THE ONE AND ONLY JUSTIN! RIGHT OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT DOOR! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE SINCE… SINCE… I forget."

"Well at least _someone_ is eager to be your roommate," Millicent nudged Justin. But Justin did not respond. He just stared in absolute terror at the one person he was the most reluctant to move in with:

Owen.

* * *

**Well this is awkward for poor old Justin, right? Well don't feel sorry for him, because Justin is technically a jerk. Anyway, I have five exams over the next three weeks, so updates won't be happening until a few days before Christmas. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Don't forget to check out my other story, **_**Total Drama: Island Renewed**_**, and vote in the poll which regards the story's rating. See you guys later! Have a good Christmas!**

**By the way, for those of you who miss _Total Drama Yuri_, a few more of it's chapters will be up on the site.**


	2. Beginning of the Madness

**I meant to have the second chapter up the day the world was "supposed" to end, but instead I went out to celebrate the beginning of the winter break. When I went home, I didn't feel like typing so instead I watched the first eight episodes of the fourth season of **_**The Big Bang Theory**_** and went to bed. But watching it has given me some inspiration for future chapters.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews. I'm glad you are now fearing for Justin's life, laughing over the bit about Harold and waiting for more chaos. Now you have waited long enough, so here it is!**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Beginning of the Madness

* * *

Of all people, it had to be Owen. Justin looked at Owen as he squealed like a secondary school queen bee who just shook hands with the lead singer of One Direction, which is not _per se_ a healthy squeal.

"GREAT CANADIAN CHEESE, I CAN'T BELIEVE JUSTIN IS RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DOOR!" Owen shrieked in delight. Justin freaked out, turned to Millicent and was like:

"Okay I change my mind. I don't want to live here anymore. I'll just find a homeless shelter."

"Excellent choice," said Millicent. "Just sign this restraining order for added protection." Justin did not hesitate to snatch the pen from Millicent's hand and sign his name on the bottom of the first of twenty-something pages. "Good," the intern smiled. He turned to Owen and said: "Owen, Justin is now officially your roommate for the next two years."

"YAAAAAAY!" beamed Owen, throwing his fists in the air in delight.

"Wait WHAT?!" shrieked Justin, as Owen pulled him into a tight bear-hug, lifting the model up off the ground. "YOU CONNIVING BASTARD! YOU SAID-!"

"Yeah…" Millicent replied. "I lied. Chris said he'd let us all use the swimming pool outside for fifteen minutes tomorrow afternoon when every single one of the contestants is living here. So basically I've tricked you into signing a contract that states you would live with Owen for twenty-four months. There is nothing you can do to get out of the contract and if you attempt by any means to move into another residence Chris McLean well sue you for everything you've got."

"Is this the case for everyone else living here?!" Justin gasped, having some form of difficulty breathing in Owen's arms.

"No," said Millicent, kicking Justin's luggage into Owen's apartment. "They can move out anytime they want, except for you of course. But if it's any consolation, you get a one cent discount on your first rent."

"How is _that_ a consolation?!"

"How should I know? Chris was the wrong who drew up the contract. He knew you'd refuse to live with Owen, but only Owen would be your roommate. So yeah… have fun in Hell."

"HEY," screeched Justin, "F*** YOU!"

Owen, oblivious to Justin's kicking and screaming, ran into the apartment and closed the door behind him. He ran over to the couch and sat down, still clutching Justin. Owen was excited and he asked the model:

"So what's new with your life?!"

Justin, who realised he was straddling Owen's right knee, facing the fatty, replied:

"No comment."

"Aw, you know just what to say!" beamed Owen, squeezing Justin. Justin groaned. This was going to be the longest twenty-four months he's ever lived.

* * *

That day was the longest day of Justin's life. It was half five in the evening when Justin – every reluctantly – moved in to Owen's apartment. However, the remainder of the day was so long Justin swore he moved in at around half eleven. Justin spent the first half hour of his tedious twenty-four months of torture sitting on Owen's lap in the most awkward position he could think of. Thankfully, this ended when Owen got hungry. He offered to cook a delicious meal, but thankfully he ate all of the food in his cabinets. Justin never tasted Owen's cooking before, but he was sure it tasted like shit.

Unsurprisingly, Owen made a living going to restaurants and giving reviews on the food, atmosphere and services. Surprisingly, Owen was well liked by restaurant owners in British Columbia and Washington – and owners in other places wished Owen lived near their establishments – because he loved nearly all kinds of foods. He gave remarkable reviews on the food at each restaurant he visited – even if they violated all of the health standards – and this boosted profits for restaurant owners. So Owen took – or dragged, as Justin felt – Justin to a fancy restaurant down town. Yes, Justin loved the restaurant, but he would never take a single person with him unless he was dating them. Unfortunately, Owen never seemed to pick this up. While they were there, Owen kept asking the model stupid questions like what Justin's favourite fried chicken was or what Justin's favourite chocolate ice-cream was. Owen also talked with his mouth full, leaned his elbows on the table, farted and he insisted on ordering dessert, which took forty-five minutes to prepare. None of these anomalies were helped by the fact that Owen wore a fancy black suit and insisted that Justin did the same. It was as if Owen thought they were…

…_DATING!_

Justin cringed at the thought. But when the whole ordeal was done, Owen paid the bill and then picked Justin up bridal style as they walked back to the apartment. Witnesses cheered as they observed this, as they were all Justowen fans and they were obviously oblivious to Justin's secret hatred of Owen.

* * *

Finally, they were home. However, Owen carried Justin into his bedroom and laid him on his king-sized bed.

"NO!" yelped Justin, before Owen could climb onto him. "I'm not doing this! I just want to go to sleep! Where am I sleeping anyway?"

"Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!" Owen cooed. "The gentleman wants to take it slowly!"

"Yeah, whatever!" groaned Justin, mentally scarred by what is going on in Owen's head. "Where am I sleeping?" he demanded.

"Here," Owen replied. "Where else?" he asked.

"If there is no other bedroom here than I would very much love to sleep on the couch," said Justin, shocked that Owen wanted to sleep with him.

"Why?" asked Owen.

Justin really wanted to say _because I'm not gay and I don't want to share a bed with someone who is going to crush me and most likely rape me in his sleep_ but he knew it was best to come up with a different excuse. Instead, he replied:

"Um… my agents said I that would sleep much better if I was alone. It also keeps me beautiful, because my cells are very territorial when my body is on standby. If they don't get their way, they will make me hideous."

Owen smiled. "Well if it keeps you beautiful, then I'll carry you over to the couch!" he chirped, picking up Justin and placing him lightly on the couch. "Good night, my little Justin-poo!" beamed Owen, pecking Justin on the forehead.

* * *

Justin waited until Owen skipped back to his bedroom before running over to the kitchen sink and vigorously rubbing his forehead with boiling hot water. He cannot believe that Owen just kissed him. It was horrible, not just because of the deadly diseases he may catch, but also because of the reality that Owen's lips made him feel like he was being smothered in cow shite. Holding back his vomit, Justin staggered back to the couch and laid down. He was really disturbed by the events of that fateful evening. The male model was almost certain things could not possibly get any worse.

Suddenly, just when Justin was on the verge of going to sleep, a fully naked Owen entered the sitting-room, sleepwalking over to Justin. He stopped right in front of Justin, turned around and sat right down on Justin's stomach. Owen shifted positions and laid down on top of Justin, smothering the poor male model. Justin tried everything in his power to wake Owen up, but it was to no avail; Owen was a heavy sleeper. He was just going to have to wait until when Owen wakes up. By that point, Justin promised himself that things won't get worse this time.

Then out of the blue, Owen turned around so that he was facing Justin, and pissed. He turned around once more and took a shit.

Justin fainted.

* * *

**Well that was, um, disturbing. Right now I am expecting really nasty reviews, but f*** it, I don't care. The only person who has the power to stop the reader from reading this story is the reader himself/herself. Trust me: this story will only get creepier as it progresses.**

**Also, the other characters may get their spotlight in the next chapter. I just wanted a chapter dedicated to the interaction between Owen and Justin to enhance the dramatic, humorous and mentally scarring scenarios. I'm off college for the next five weeks, so I'll have more free time to update my stories. Chapter three could be up before the New Year. Speaking of which, I knew all along the world wasn't going to end. But the world has certainly ended for most of what is left of Justin's sanity.**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


	3. Expansion of the Lack of Sanity

**Hello again, my fellow creepers! The eight reviews and 250 hits have made my day! And so I'm ringing in the New Year with another mentally scarring chapter. This chapter marks the start of Justin's interactions with his new neighbours. Sadly, Owen won't be the only factor in Justin becoming a deranged psychopath. This chapter will explain why.**

**FACT: The name of the apartment block Justin and Owen now live in will be referred to as Total Drama Towers from now on. Sorry for not naming the apartment block earlier; I forgot *nervous laugh*.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Expansion of the Lack of Sanity

* * *

The day commenced like any other typical day at Total Drama Towers. The birds were tweeting (and by 'tweet' I meant they were on Twitter on their mobile phones which, for some strange reason, they've learnt how to use). Duncan was banging on Gwen's door, begging to for her to let him give her the 'D', but Gwen was too busy scissoring with Courtney in her bedroom to care. Harold was sitting on his spot in the couch watching _Doctor Who_ on BBC Canada while eating oatmeal. At the same time, Harold was berating the characters onscreen for their 'lack of intelligence', even though the characters were obviously not going to hear him. Trent was pouring nine millilitres of milk into his favourite bowl of cereal: _Coco Nines_. Apparently, Chris signed a contract with a cereal manufacturer to make this cereal, not only because of the profits but also to prevent Trent from going ape-shit. Yep; it was a normal day indeed.

Justin, on the other hand, was still struggling to get used to this. He trudged into the laundry room to wash his pyjamas. After the incident last night, Justin finally found the strength to shove Owen off of him. He burst into the shower and stayed in there for three hours. Normally, Justin didn't like electric showers, but this time he was glad Owen had one, otherwise he would've used up all the hot water. Thankfully the mess Owen made was flushed down the toilet, though half an hour of throughout cleaning was necessary. Justin huffed relentlessly as he went over to a random top-loader washing machine. He opened the lid, and just as he was about to empty the contents of his basket into the tub, a thundering voice echoed from outside the laundry room.

"HEY! HEY! HEY! GET AWAY FROM THERE! THAT IS _MY_ WASHING MACHINE! NOT YOURS!"

Justin whirled his head around to see none other than Trent standing at the doorway glaring menacingly at the model. "What do you mean 'your' washing machine?" demanded Justin.

"What I 'mean' is that each washing machine and each dryer is marked numerically and I have placed the machines that are marked with the number nine in a state of eternal dibs!" Trent scolded. "Now put your stinking clothes in another washing machine!"

"Well sorrrry!" Justin snickered, dumping his pyjamas into the washing machine marked with the number ten. "But I still don't see the big deal in this," he added, putting in the detergent and closing the lid.

"Well it's still my washing machine," Trent insisted, "and I have it programmed to wash my clothes over a nine-hour cycle."

Justin's ears pricked up. "A nine-hour cycle?!" he shrieked, turning on the machine. "Seriously, that's a very long time! It's probably a waste of electricity!"

"But it's necessary!" Trent protested. "If I have the machine run for nine hours, my clothes will get blessed with nine days of immunity against dirt apart from accidents by the Ninth God!"

Justin rolled his eyes. "I know I'm going to regret this, but what is the Ninth God?" he wondered.

"What pagan religion have your parents exposed you to?!" exclaimed Trent. "There are _nine_ gods! There's Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and, of _course_, the Ninth God! The Ninth God is the most important god of the gods!"

"And why is that?" Justin asked, holding back a snicker.

"Without Him, there would be no number nine!" Trent explained. "_Ten_ would come after eight, _twenty_ would come after eighteen, and_thirty _would come after twenty-eight and so on! There would be _thirteen_ hours on an analogue clock but _twenty-five_ hours in a total day, and twenty-five cannot be divided into two by _any _whole number, not even thirteen! And worst of all, **ten** would be my lucky number instead of nine, AND I HATE TEN!"

"Yeah, no wonder Gwen left you," Justin sneered, grabbing his basket and walking out of the room. "And for your own benefit, dude," the model added, just before leaving the room, "the average cycle lasts forty-five minutes. In case you are insanely persistent enough to continue on with your number nine religion, nine goes into forty-five five times."

"Justin, how could you be so blasphemous?!" demanded Trent. "Do you not realise the consequences of your blasphemous actions?! If you are not a Number Nine Religion Follower, then you will be condemned to the fires of the Place Devoid of the Number Nine! It's the worst place to be because it is devoid of the number nine!"

"Actually, thanks to the 'Number Nine Religion', I wouldn't really mind going to the Place Devoid of the Number Nine," Justin snickered as he left the room. Trent was angered that Justin was not taking his 'religion' seriously. Normally, Trent would run up to anyone he deemed to be a heretic and stab that person nine times. However, it was almost time for Trent's second prayer of the day. Unsurprisingly, he prays nine times a day.

* * *

Justin was walking over to his apartment when he bumped into Chef. Chef glared at the model.

"Okay, what is your problem?!" Justin demanded. "Before yesterday you were among my biggest fans! You even gave me your helicopter keys in exchange for a photograph of me a few years ago! Why do you hate me all of a sudden?"

"I hate you because you weren't standing up straight you goddamn prick!" Chef bellowed. "I don't want a husband who won't stand like a soldier 24/7!"

"Wait, wait, wait, y-you were e-e-expecting me to m-MARRY you?!" Justin spluttered.

"That was before I realised what a maggot you were!" Chef snarled, pushing the model aside and walking away. Justin looked at the psycho war vet in sheer horror, realising that it was a good thing that Chef refused to be his roommate.

Justin continued down the hall until her noticed Harold.

"Um, hey Harold," Justin said sheepishly. "How are you?"

"Obviously the number of seconds I have left are decreasing as I am constantly aging without any pause whatsoever," Harold replied.

"No, what I meant was whether you were feeling great or bad or whatever," Justin said.

"Well, I _was_ undergoing an emotion of apathy," Harold replied, "but now I am bothered because you failed to ask your question properly, IDIOT!"

"Harold, please, I had a really bad morning!" sighed Justin. "Owen pissed and shat on me while he was sleepwalking and I had a difficult time cleaning up the mess he made!"

"Well maybe if you provided me with the correct answer to my question yesterday you would not be in this clutter, GOSH!"

"That was not a question, man!" snapped Justin. "That was a _**riddle**_!"

"It is still a question!" Harold snapped back. "GOSH! Curse your sparse understanding of the concept of riddles! IDIOT!"

"And now I'm glad I'm not living with you," sneered Justin. He climbed the final flight of stairs to the level where his apartment was, trying to suppress every single event that has occurred this morning.

* * *

Justin returned to the apartment only for Owen to grab the model and pull him into a dangerously tight bear-hug. Owen apologised profusely for sleeping, pissing and shitting on Justin while kissing him on the face at the exact same time. Owen decided he wanted to go rollerblading in the park. Naturally, Justin didn't want to go, but Owen didn't seem to pick that up. Consequently, Justin was forced to spend the day at the park injuring himself because he cannot maintain his balance on the bloody roller-blades This was not helped by the fact that every time Owen fell down – which was once every five minutes – he landed on top of Justin. What's worse was that everybody at the park was looking at them, mistaking Justin and Owen for a real couple. All Justin wanted to do was to go relax at the swimming pool and spy on the chicks in the hopes that one of them would go ahead and bang another one but no. He was stuck with Owen.

Justin has completely forgotten how insane Harold, Chef and Trent were.

* * *

**So how was that for another mentally scarring update? I hoped you enjoyed it and I also hope you are not crouched in a fetal position in the corner of your bedroom wondering when the torment will end.**

**Happy New Year, you guys!**


	4. Washed Down the Drain

**You guys are awesome! The reviews and hits made my day! By the way, an incident in the previous chapter comes back to haunt Justin. What will he do to get around the problem again?**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I feel I might as well put it in there despite not doing it in the first chapter. If I was – against all odds because of I only turned eighteen two months ago – the owner of **_**Total Drama**_**, it wouldn't be a kid's show. Trust me in this one.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Washed Down the Drain

* * *

Justin's second day at Total Drama Towers has not been going well for the poor model. After they went rollerblading, Owen wanted to go to McDonald's for lunch. Obviously, Justin hated fast food outlets with a passion. Fast food was not good for his body. Sadly, Owen still had not picked this up, so Justin was forced to take Owen to McDonald's. Owen ordered ten burgers, ten packets of chips and ten five-piece-boxes of Chicken McNuggets. Owen ate all but one burger, half a packet of chips and seven pieces of Chicken McNuggets, which Justin had no choice but to eat. Justin hated fizzy drinks but Owen did not pick that up, so all Justin had to drink was Diet Coke. Sure, Owen was thoughtful about Justin's passion for his exterior, but Diet Coke is slightly more likely to give Alzheimer's than Coca Cola and Justin obviously did not want that. The worst part of the outing was when Owen scoffed down tubs and tubs of ice-cream until he got a brain freeze. Justin told him to lick the roof of his mouth to stop the brain-freeze, but Owen misunderstood his advice and gave Justin a French kiss.

Everyone in the restaurant witnessed it. It wasn't long before paparazzi came up to Justin and Owen and asked for autographs. Sure, Justin loved the attention, but not that kind of attention. The paparazzi were fans of his alleged relationship with Owen. Naturally, Owen blushed and went on and on about how lucky he was to have Justin. Finally, Justin had had enough. He grabbed Owen by the shirt and dragged him out of the restaurant. Justin continued dragging Owen until they reached Total Drama Towers.

"Owen, are you nuts?!" demanded Justin once they were inside the building. "When you had that brain freeze, I told you to lick the roof of your **own** mouth!"

"Sorry," Owen laughed sheepishly, "I wasn't thinking straight, heheh."

"Obviously," Justin sneered, rolling his eyes. Fortunately, Owen didn't hear him say that.

"So what do you want to do now?" asked Owen.

"I just want to go for a swim in the pool," Justin deadpanned, as he opened the door to the apartment. Once they were both in, Justin locked himself in the bathroom to change into his swimming trunks and apply sun cream to his skin. He returned from the bathroom to see Owen sitting on the couch watching telly.

He was naked.

"Owen, what are you doing?!" Justin demanded.

"Watching TV, why?" asked Owen, shrugging. "_Total Drama Action_ was the best season ever!" he happily added.

"You were unfairly voted out that season," Justin deadpanned. "Not to mention you did things that you weren't exactly proud of at the end of that season."

"True, but you participated in the first nineteen episodes bar the _Aftermath_ ones!" beamed Owen. "And you were handsome in all of them!" he added, swooning. Justin resisted the urge to retch when he realised why Owen was naked.

"Yeah, whatever!" he groaned, rolling his eyes.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!" echoed an eerily familiar voice from outside the door.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!" the voice repeated.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!" the voice repeated. Justin sighed and answered the door. Trent stood at the doorway with a serious look on his face.

"DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR YET!" screamed Trent. "WAIT UNTIL I'VE KNOCKED ON THIS DOOR FIFTY-FOUR MORE TIMES AND SAID YOUR NAME SIX MORE TIMES!"

"What?!" demanded Justin.

"CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR AND DON'T OPEN IT UNTIL I HAVE KNCOKED ON IT FIFTY-FOUR MORE TIMES!" Trent bellowed. Justin sighed and closed the door. He waited for Trent to finish his strange knocking routine.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin!"

Finally Trent was done knocking. Justin opened the door and was like:

"What do you want?"

"The janitor found faeces in the washing machine you put your clothes into," Trent informed the model. "Care to explain?"

"Why do you care so much?" Justin demanded.

"He gave me nine cents to confront you," Trent explained. "Anyway, why were your clothes covered in faeces?"

Justin began to panic. He did not feel like telling the numerical cultist what really happened last night. Not to mention, he has completely forgotten about his washing. Fortunately, he came up with a lie.

"Those aren't mine," he lied.

"Oh really," Trent sneered, rolling his eyes.

"Really," Justin fibbed. "Those clothes are Millicent's. This morning he handed me his basket and asked me to put them in the washing machine. I didn't know his clothes were full of shit. He didn't tell me."

"Those clothes look a lot like your pyjamas," Trent pointed out, eyeing Justin suspiciously. Justin shrugged and said:

"Well maybe it's just a coincidence that Millicent sometimes wears the same type of pyjamas as I do. In fact, I'm pretty sure Owen has a similar but extra-large version of my pyjamas in his closet. Right Owen?" the model asked, turning his head towards Owen.

"Of course!" the big lovable oaf smiled. "Who **wouldn't** wear the same pyjamas as Justin?!" Justin and Trent noticed that the size of Owen's nether regions has increased.

"Why is this guy naked?" asked Trent.

"Buddy, the only explanation I could come with is the simple reason that he's Owen," Justin shrugged. "You probably wouldn't want to know what's going on in his head anyway. Getting back to the less mentally scarring topic; don't confront Millicent over them. He's probably embarrassed over the incident already." Trent shrugged and said:

"Alright then; I'll go inform the janitor." Before he left, Trent gave Justin a glare and said: "By the way, if you answer before I'm through knocking the way the Ninth God intended, I will reduce your body to nine pieces, capiche?"

"Yeah, sure whatever," Justin apathetically replied, closing the door. He decided he no longer cared about his pyjamas. He could always get a new pair. Unfortunately, he realised that he's gotten Millicent in trouble. True, Justin was glad to get his revenge on the intern for tricking him into moving in with Owen. But Millicent is certainly going to get roared at for something he didn't do and surely he's going to find out who told the lie when that happens. He'll investigate until he catches the culprit. After all, there is no guarantee that an intern won't hold a grudge; especially if Chris has been making his life a living Hell.

* * *

**Wow! Poor Justin! Millicent will certainly be pissed off. And Trent sure is creepy. So will Millicent find out the about the background of this horrible misconception? If he does, how will he react? And when will Owen stop being creepy?! I'm going to with never, maybe.**

**Until next time!**


	5. Diving into More Awkward Soup

**Well, I'm back with the fifth chapter. I also plan to have the sixth chapter uploaded around next week. By the way, you might want to have something to throw up in at the ready. Enjoy!**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Diving into More Awkward Soup

* * *

Within ten minutes after his awkward encounter with Trent, Justin finally decided to go along with his plans to go for a swim in the pool. Sadly, the Hawaiian did not receive the experience he was expecting at the pool.

The first problem involved Lindsay and Sierra. They were making out on one of the branches of one of the trees that surround the pool. Sure, Justin was a fan of femslash, but not when it involves Sierra. It was not helped by the fact that Lindsay still thinks that Sierra is Tyler, despite obvious indications such as Sierra's abundant boobs, her long hair and her lack of a wang. But it was **especially** not helped by the fact that Tyler was sitting on the diving board, glancing longingly, jealously and miserably at the couple.

This seriously bothered Justin, as the model wanted to dive into the swimming pool. He figured he might as well push Tyler off the board. The American climbed up the ten metre high ladder and stood up straight on the diving platform. He tiptoed over to the jock, ready to give him a little push, when Tyler let out a relentless sigh.

Justin froze. He realised he could not bring himself to toss the meathead overboard. This was totally unlike Justin; a man who does not care about anybody but himself. Admittedly, Justin was aware that Tyler really cared for the girl that keeps mistaking someone else – even if that someone else happened to be a female – for Tyler, and ends up shifting that someone else. A man and a woman – and also a third-gender and a transsexual – are not the same in physical terms, so how could it be possible for someone with an IQ between sixty and seventy to get involved in such a crazy scenario? However, if Lindsay was stupid enough to ride a woman despite being a perfectly heterosexual female – theoretically, of course, considering how surprisingly successful the relationship between Sierra and Lindsay is – then it's a possibility that Tyler was sulking because all of that time he spent with that girl was in vain. If Sierra truly was that heterosexual female Justin thought she was – hence her fake yet convincing obsession over Cody, a male – then Justin would not be alone in that awkward dilemma of his; not that it has anything to do with **Tyler's** dilemma. Besides, if Justin acts all nice and comforting to the meathead jock, then he can easily go back to his manipulative ways, and utilise his refurbished powers to spend as less time with Owen as possible.

Justin decided to talk to Tyler.

"Why are you so down in the dumps, Tyler?" Justin asked, in his artificial yet effective soothing voice.

"I'm not down in the dumps," Tyler replied in a monotone voice, not bothering to turn around and face the model. "I'm up on the diving board."

Justin rolled his eyes. "I can see that," he said. "What I meant was: why are you upset?" Tyler blew his nose on his forearm, much to the male model's disgust. The latter opted to look past that.

"Lindsay still thinks Sierra is me," sobbed Tyler. "She's even making out with her although she's not a lesbo. I know that would be hot and all, but I can't have a wank over it. That's my Lindsay over there… banging a girl… thinking that girl's a guy… SHE'S WEARING A BRA FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES!" he howled.

"There, there," Justin soothed, placing his left hand on the jock's left shoulder. "You should probably go somewhere private and cry out all of the pain," he suggested. Tyler finally turned around.

He wasn't smiling. He was glaring.

"Oh, you'd love that wouldn't ya?!" Tyler sneered. "I bet you just want me to leave so you can see the action all on your own! Well I'm having none of it!" Justin was horrified. Truthfully, he wanted Tyler to go. But Justin wanted the meathead out of the picture because he was a downer, not so he could masturbate to the lesbian sex scene. If Justin wanted to do that, he'd simply head up to the roof where'd have more privacy.

"No, you got it wrong!" Justin insisted. "I just feel you need to let it all out so you can move on; and there is no better place to cry than somewhere private so you won't get slagged over it by unsympathetic assholes who mentally believe that only women and children cry. Besides, you could fall off that diving board if you're not careful," he added. Tyler was not convinced. Then again, he probably wasn't paying attention to what Justin was trying to tell him.

"Why should I believe you, you stupid idiot?!" demanded Tyler. "You think you know me, huh?! Well you **don't**! Why?! Cos I'm **cool**! Yeah! So it's time to die!"

"That… didn't make any sense," Justin replied, "even **you** can come up with a better statement than that."

"IT DID **TOO** MAKE SENSE!" roared Tyler. "IT DID COS I'M SMART AND I KNOW THAT TWO PLUS TWO IS EQUAL TO SIX AND STUFF LIKE THAT SO THAT MEANS I'M SMART!" Justin rolled his eyes. He didn't know what the answer to two plus two was either, but he was sure that the answer wasn't six.

"NOW DIE!" Tyler bellowed, lunging for Justin. Fortunately, Tyler bounced too hard on the less stable part of the platform and, as a result, he was propelled into space. Justin looked up in the sky in shock as he watched the meathead jock blast off into space. If the rumours were correct, that was the seventy-fourth time that happened.

"Jesus, what was that?!" Justin thought aloud.

"An experience that won't be as disturbing as the one that you're just about to experience!" an all-too-familiar voice from behind the American hissed. Justin turned around to find Sierra standing right in front of him. It was futile to say she wasn't in a good mood.

"Sierra," said Justin, sheepishly, "what a pleasant surprise! Are you good?"

"I'll be good when my Lindsay and I have some space!" Sierra snarled, grabbing Justin by the neck and firing him towards an open window at the speed of a hundred miles per hour. Before he knew it, the model was sitting on the one seat he would never sit on if it was the last seat left in the universe, and that includes surfaces that one can lie down on.

"Great Canadian cheese!" squealed Owen. "Perfect timing! You're just in time for the part where you whirl your hair around your head! And I'm just about to climax as well!" Justin gulped when he realised that Owen was still naked.

He could also feel a lump.

* * *

**I bet you are thanking me for making you have something to throw up in at the ready. I guess all that took to make that something useful was the last line. I hope I didn't cause nightmares, though I honestly don't really care if I did. I'm sure we could do with a few bad experiences to make the good experiences a little more pleasant.**

**Until next time!**


	6. Justin and Owen's Really Awkward Day Out

**I'm going back to college on Monday now that the winter break is coming to an end. That could mean slower updates. However, I have pledged to update a story at least once a week. If we're lucky, two stories may be updated within one week.**

**WARNING: THIS IS BY FAR THE SICKEST CHAPTER! PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR ANOTHER NIGHT OF INSOMNIA!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Justin and Owen's Really Awkward Day Out

* * *

Justin spent five hours in the bathroom sitting on the bidet so he could wash his arse. Apparently, when Sierra threw Justin, the force she employed was so great his swimming trunks fell off before the male model landed on the lap of a seriously horny Owen. The result is the rest of Justin's evening being devoted to expelling Owen's… stuff from his body. The last thing the heterosexual male wanted was a sexually transmitted disease.

That night wasn't as bad as the night before. Owen had beans in the restaurant the previous evening which explained his sleepwalking and Justin's messy PJs. Owen had no beans during Justin's second day at Total Drama Towers, so Justin slept peacefully. The next morning, Justin requested that Owen abstain from eating beans. Obviously, Owen did not like it, but he loved Justin too much to lose him, so he agreed to eat beans only when Justin was at least two miles away from him.

Sadly, the third day was no better than the second day. Owen wanted to go to the cinema, while Justin wanted to go to the beach (and secretly, Justin wanted to go to the beach without Owen). While Justin was trying to maintain his tan at the beach, Owen get complaining about the sand being too hot and the sea being too cold. Owen could not sit still in the shade. At one point, when Owen eventually got used to heat of the sand, he decided to bury Justin in sand just for the craic. He was only messing, but Justin, in a fit of rage, grabbed Owen and tossed him into sea. Owen freaked out when he noticed the seaweed and jumped into Justin's arms. This prompted poor Justin to fall backwards and land in the shallow part of the water. That was where most of the seaweed was, so Owen and Justin were tangled in seaweed. Justin ordered Owen not to speak of the incident ever again. He also made a mental note not to take Owen to the beach ever again.

The cinema was no better than the beach. Owen bought tonnes and tonnes of popcorn, sweets and fizzy drinks. Hardly anybody in the audience could understand the dialogue of the movie being played as the dialogue was being masked by Owen crunching his snacks and slurping his drinks. Everyone kept glaring at Justin; mistakenly believing that Justin bought all of that food and drink for the big loveable oaf. Worse came to worse when Owen unleashed a torrent of loud, smelly, nauseating farts that led to two thirds of the people in the room passing out. Fifteen people also died as a result of Owen's powerful flatulence. The cinema was quarantined and Owen and Justin were informed by authorities that they were permanently barred from entering the cinema (if it is ever restored). In addition, Owen and Justin were sentenced to ten strikes of the cane – Canada brought back judicial corporal punishment as an alternative to introducing conscription and re-introducing the death penalty – and two hundred hours of community service.

* * *

It was their first day working at the local nursing home as part of their community service. It was horrible: the elders there never ceased to tell Justin and Owen disturbing stories of their personal lives. For example, an old woman told Justin of how she used to drug her ex-husband and son-in-law and place their unconscious bodies on top of one another every time her daughter and son-in-law visited. This lead to the son-in-law divorcing her daughter and eloping with the old woman's ex-husband because they discovered they were both bisexual. The men also took the grandchildren with them. However, the old woman and her daughter didn't mind because the men were boring the grandchildren were spoilt brats. An old man told Owen of how he used to be in the Canadian Army and got discharged because he thought Canada was at war with America and shot a bunch of US Army soldiers.

"Well that was fun wasn't it?" Owen nervously chuckled, when they returned home.

"Whatever," sneered Justin, glaring at Owen. It was bad enough Justin was forced to work for eight hours a day, five days a week for five weeks because of Owen. It was adding insult to injury that Owen has not yet said sorry.

"So when do we get caned?" Owen asked.

"Owen, I'd rather just steal a ship and sail all the way to Mexico!" Justin groaned. "I can't have my beautiful body get destroyed! But I'm not going to have the time to steal a boat! We're getting caned this Saturday, and it's all your fault!"

"What did I do wrong?" Owen asked. Justin was livid. He could not believe it. The incident at the cinema was broadcasted worldwide – leading to the cancellation of all of Justin's modelling contracts – yet Owen still had no clue what he did wrong.

"I'm going for a walk around the block!" Justin snarled. "Don't follow me!" He left the apartment and passed by Kim.

"Hey, Justin!" Kim called out. Justin turned around to face the intern and snapped:

"WHAT?!"

"If you see Millicent, run," Kim warned the model. "By the way, I pissed in my pants again because I've never been allowed to go to the f***in' toilet! So if Millicent tries to kill you, put in a bad word for me too so he'd put me out of my misery! I HATE MY LIFE!" he whined.

"Sheesh, calm down!" groaned Justin. "In your case, pissing in your pants shouldn't be a problem."

"Yeah, will in Millicent's case," Kim scowled, "getting blamed for shitting in your pyjamas is a HUGE problem!"

"Oh, he'll get over it," Justin replied, shrugging Kim's warnings off.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn ya," said Kim, shrugging and closing the window into the stall. Justin rolled his eyes and decided to head back to the apartment. On his way back, he was shoved to the ground. He looked up and registered who the assailant was.

Millicent.

* * *

**Dun! Dun! Dun! Well that sure was a bad week for Justin! Poor fella! Owen created a lot of problems, but they are Justin's problems! I still don't feel sorry for him one bit. I hate him with a passion. Millicent's rant and attacks will be covered in the next chapter, which probably won't be up for a week or two. Apologies for the limited dialogue in this chapter. I just wanted to make things more awkward for Justin.**

**Until next time!**


	7. Not So Epic Battle

**Two weeks into college and now I'm stuffed up to my tonsils in deadlines and shit. Anyway, if you've been longing for the fight between Justin and Millicent, then you've waited long enough. Enjoy!**

**WARNING: I'VE LOST COUNT OF HOW OFTEN I'VE USED THE WORD 'CROTCH' IN THIS CHAPTER. IF YOU GET OFFENDED, GO TO THIS WEBSITE CALLED **_**ENCYCLOPEDIA DRAMATICA**_** AND GO TO THE PAGE **_**OFFENDED**_**. I DARE YA.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Not So Epic Battle

* * *

"Um, Millicent," Justin sheepishly greeted Millicent. "Pleased to meet ya, heheh!"

Millicent scowled. "Oh don't give me your shit, ya conniving little wanker!" he snarled. "Everyone thinks I'm a freak thanks to you!"

"I honestly have no idea what you are talking about," Justin lied.

"YOU DO TOO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!" Millicent roared. "YOU TOLD TRENT YOU WERE WASHING MY LAUNDRY AND THAT THERE WAS SHIT IN IT AND I GOT BANNED FOR LIFE FROM THE LAUNDRY ROOM! YOU ASSHOLE! I NEVER USE THE BLOODY LAUNDRY ROOM! I HAVE MY OWN FUCKING WASHER-DRYER-COMBO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

"If you have your own washer-dryer-combo then why would you care that you are barred from the laundry room?" Justin wondered.

"IT'S THE BEST PLACE TO MASTURBATE YOU RETARD!" Millicent bellowed.

"Okay… I probably shouldn't have asked that question," said Justin. Millicent spat on Justin, much to the model's horror, and unveiled a knife.

"Alright Justin!" he hissed. "I am going to kill you! I'd get up and start running for my miserable life if I were you!"

"What's the point in living anymore?!" sobbed Justin. Millicent looked at the model as if he were a pathetic eejit.

"Dude, what is wrong with you?!" Millicent demanded.

"You spat on my beautiful lips!" wailed Justin. "Go ahead and kill me! I have nothing to live for now thanks to you!"

"Okay," said Millicent, shrugging. He went over to Justin and raised the knife. But just before he could bring down the knife and jam it into Justin's temple, the intern felt pain in his crotch.

Justin punched Millicent in the balls. The intern keeled over and clutched his crotch. Sadly, he forgot he was still holding a knife in his right hand, so now he has a smarting pain in his testes. Ouch.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" screamed Millicent. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY KIWIS! THEY'RE BLEEDING!"

"Eh, you were the one that stabbed them," Justin snickered.

"THAT'S COS YOU PUNCHED THEM AND THIS PROMPTED ME TO STAB MYSELF IN THE NUTS YOU STUPID IDIOT!" howled Millicent. He calmed down and said: "You know what? I'm not gonna kill you. I'M GONNA KILL YOUR FAMILY INSTEAD!" he cackled maniacally.

"Go ahead," said Justin, shrugging. "Ever since that stupid hag of a mom kicked me out of the house, I've stopped caring for my family anyway." It was not a lie. No fooling. Justin never cared for anyone but himself. So why would he care if every member of his family was brutally killed?

"Oh," said Millicent. It was clear from the expression on his face that he was disappointed. "Well then I'm just going to have to kill you anyway," he said. "But since you have nothing left to live for, you might as well go on and put up a fight."

"Just get it over with, will ya," Justin ushered. "I'm bored already."

"Jesus, you are a right pansy, you know that, right?" Millicent jeered. "No wonder your life is over now that your modelling career is down the toilet. It just goes to show how worthless you are. Is this why your parents hate you now? I guess I might as well let you live; considering I'd be doing you a favour if I killed you, no matter how longer and brutal your death will be. I'm just going to let you drown in the pain and humiliation of being a nothing for the rest of your life." The intern turned away and headed towards the streets. "Meanwhile, I'm going to go to the hospital and get that knife removed from my crotch," he added, "ow." Just as the intern had staggered a few paces he found himself pushed to the ground. The knife went deeper up the wound.

The horrified intern looked up and stared at Justin's livid face. The male model proceeded to kick the intern.

"DON'T (kick) YOU (kick) EVER (kick) CALL (kick) ME (kick) A (kick) NOTHING (kick) EVER (kick) AGAIN!" bellowed Justin. "I HAVE MORE PURPOSE IN THIS WORLD THAN YOU WILL EVER HAVE SO YOU ARE IN NO POSITION TO BE MOCKING ME, YOU GODDAMN PRICK!" Justin pounced on the intern to further emphasise how serious and pissed off he was at the intern. However, Millicent managed to gain enough strength to shoot up from the ground and knock his opponent off in the process.

He removed the knife from his nether regions – and tried to suppress the additional pain – and lunged for Justin. He held the model down. But before he could stab Justin, Justin rolled over and was now on top of Millicent. He punched Millicent in the face and was just about to snatch the knife out of the intern's hand when Millicent punched Justin back and right in the neck. Because he used all his might, Millicent had Justin flown over a few feet before hitting the ground. Thankfully the punch had no impact on Justin's ability to breathe, speak or control his body. It was still sore though, and Justin could not find the strength to pick himself up off the footpath immediately.

Millicent got up and walked calmly over to Justin's body – he was still crippled by the immense pain coming from his crotch. He continued to march over to Justin's body until he was right above the model. Millicent knelt down over Justin's stomach.

"I guess I was wrong!" hissed Millicent, as he held the knife under Justin's jaw. "I guess you really do have the balls to fight! It's a shame really, now that you won't be able to bask in the glory of having proven to yourself what a man you truly are… not that I consider you a man. It was nice knowing you, Justin… NOT!" And so Millicent raised the knife. Justin struggled to force a muscle to respond so he can get Millicent off of him before it is too late. It wasn't working.

Millicent was going to kill him.

Before everything cut to black, Millicent was pulled away and thrown a few metres away from the model.

"NOBODY GETS TO LAY A HAND ON MY JUSTIN-POO!" roared Owen. He picked up Millicent and stuffed the intern head-first down his mouth. A few seconds later, Owen didn't feel too well, and barfed Millicent out. Millicent looked up at Owen in sheer horror.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" demanded Millicent. "What are ya?! Some kinda freak?!" The intern got up and stomped away, mouthing bad things about Owen and Justin. Owen went over to Justin and scooped him up in his arms.

"It's okay, baby!" gasped Owen. "Daddy is here!"

What Owen just said was enough to cause poor Justin to faint. Owen, assuming the model dosed off to sleep, simply shrugged and carried Justin back to the apartment.

* * *

**Well that was quite an epic fight… actually most fights on fan fiction stories would generally last longer, but there were a few funny bits in between. There were also a few disturbing bits in between as well, *evil smile*.**

**Now you may think there is no cliff-hanger for this chapter, right? Wrong! Something totally out of the blue is going to happen in the next chapter, so beware!**

**Until next time!**


	8. Flatness, CO2 and Nudity

**As I've said in the last chapter, something totally out of the blue will happen in this one. You may need a few stitches after this chapter.**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS DISGUSTING! IF YOU ARE AMONG THE FAINT OF HEART, THEN YOU'VE READ ENOUGH OF THIS STORY! BUT GO AHEAD! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Flatness, CO2 and Nudity

* * *

Justin awoke feeling out of shape. He was not sure why at first, but within a few seconds of waking up, he remembered the fight he had with Millicent the night before. However, it was not until when the model struggled to get up out of bed that he realised why he was feeling out of shape.

Justin was as flat as a pancake on Pancake Tuesday.

The model gritted his teeth in anger. Boy was he going to kill Owen! Speaking of which, why in God's name was Justin feeling lumpy?

"Morning Justin," came a voice from behind the model. Justin desperately tried to peel himself off of Owen's body but he only ended up falling to the floor in the same manner as a sheet of paper. The model tried to scamper away but Owen got up out of his bed, bent down and picked Justin up. He pulled Justin onto his lap, wrapped his arms around his waist and said:

"Goodness Justin, you're mighty flat today!"

Justin rolled his eyes in frustration. "Yeah, and I wonder why," he sneered. Owen shrugged – not getting that he flattened Justin because he rolled over him in the bed – and blew into Justin's mouth to thicken him up. Justin wanted to scream as loud as he could, but the carbon dioxide that was pushing and shoving down his oesophagus prevented the helpless model from doing so. After what seemed like an eternity for poor old Justin, he was finally inflated to the point he was as big as he was before Owen rolled him like a ball of dough.

Justin lay across Owen's bare naked lap as he desperately gasped for oxygen.

"So you wanna make out?" Owen asked innocently, believing that Justin was having an orgasm. Justin ignored him, got up from the cannibal's lap and walked out of the room – not realising that he too was naked.

* * *

Chris was busy rolling over fifteen adult male prostitutes and fifteen adult female prostitutes when there was a rough knocking on the door. Chris ignored it and continued to roll over the thirty bodies that lay in a uniformed fashion on his sitting room floor. The knocking grew louder and more persistent. Eventually, Chris got annoyed and got up; assuring his prostitutes he'd be back for more.

Chris put on a bathrobe and trudged over to the door to answer it. "What do you want?!" he demanded. "And why the Hell are you bollock naked?!"

"Chris, I can't take it anymore!" Justin protested. "That Owen has been driving me demented. He pissed on me, took a shit on me, ejaculated up my hole, damaged my modelling career, got me five weeks of community service, got me ten lashes to my beautiful body and just this morning he flattened me like a pancake!"

"And your point is?" groaned Chris, losing his patience.

"My point is I'm sick and tired of that fat piece of shit fucking up my life!" Justin moped. "I don't want to live with him anymore!"

"Well it's not my problem!" Chris jeered. "And by the way: maybe you can reduce his sexual advances a little bit by putting some clothes on!" he added, before slamming the door and getting back to his prostitutes. Justin looked down and realised that he was in fact naked. He slapped away the knife Izzy held in her hand that was close to Justin's private parts and rushed back to the apartment before anyone else could see him (a lot of people did and they took photos and videos on their phones and uploaded them on to Facebook, Twitter and YouTube). Izzy sighed in disappointment because she needed a dildo to make her nights in with Blaineley even more pleasurable. She shrugged it off and went off in search of a male intern with gender identity disorder to solve her problem.

* * *

Their second day at the nursing home was even worse than the day before. Owen and Justin were forced to give the seniors sponge baths, wipe their arses and listen to their stories that were either boring enough to sedate Justin and Owen or disturbing enough to give them insomnia for weeks and weeks to come. What's worse is that Owen even licked up the vomit one patient barfed up and had no hang-ups about it. Justin felt like he was never going to eat again as a result of witnessing his roommate/stalker doing it. It was the same routine for the next three days and Owen and Justin finally had the weekend off. They received news that their caning was postponed until after their community service when the nursing home realised that they needed the two young men to do quite a lot of heavy work that required very little physical pain. Justin was relieved because if he were cared he'd need a couple of weeks to rest and then the authorities would have to postpone the rest of his community service. Justin just wanted to get this community service of his out of the way as soon as possible.

Of course, Owen was disappointed because he was looking forward to seeing red on Justin's butt.

* * *

**And that concludes yet another misadventure for Owen and poor little Justin (not that I care about Justin because he's a prick). Sorry if this chapter was short. In fact, this was the shortest chapter for this story so far, with just over a thousand words compared to the runner up chapter in that list, with 1,209 words. It's just that I ran out of ideas for this chapter so I decided I'd might as well wrap this up until the ninth chapter is published which, by the way, will feature you-know-who in it. Then again, most of you don't really mind once you get to see you-know-who in Chapter Nine.**

**Until next time!**


	9. Those Fingers and Toes

**Again, sorry for the long delay, but read **_**Windows 9**_** if you want to know what my excuses are. Sadly, the delays are not going to stop here. Tomorrow I have to go to a relative's wedding, after that it's Paddy's Weekend (plus I'm Irish, so I have more of a reason to go ape-shit) and after that I have two deadlines to catch up on for next week. So yeah… I'm pretty fucked for updates right now. Enjoy!**

**WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF CURSE WORDS DESPITE THIS STORY BEING RATED AT 'T'!**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Those Fingers and Toes

* * *

Justin and Owen's community service was finally over but they were not looking forward to the caning. This was especially true with Justin, even though it shouldn't matter to him how physically damaged his body would be, considering that no modelling agent would enter a contract with Justin ever again since that incident at the cinema only a few weeks ago.

Justin and Owen were caned in the same room at the same time. This was because the staff at the prison in which they were flogged felt that as a couple Owen and Justin should experience their punishment together. This brought a smile on Owen's face and thoughts about blowing up the planet to Justin's mind. Fortunately, the due received less strikes than they were originally supposed to receive. Owen unleashed an explosion of farts just after getting one lash. The officer that was birching him was fired back towards a closed window which he crashed through, impaling the poor officer with shards upon shards of glass. Because the prison was located by a 10,000 ft cliff along the coast and because the window was facing the sea, the officer could not be saved.

The unfortunate officer's colleague dropped the cane he was using on Justin just as the incident was happening. Stupidly believing that he could prevent the demise of his fellow employee by miraculously developing superpowers all of a sudden, the other officer jumped out the window. In fairness, that office was panicking. Don't worry. He's in Hell now.

The whole incident was broadcasted on live, international television. This was because Canadian news reporters wanted to televise the first time someone in Canada gets canned for the first time in over forty years. On top of that, all of this happened on a Saturday, so countless numbers of children across Canada witnessed the event. One of the witnesses recorded the whole thing on his mobile phone and uploaded the video onto YouTube. Within the first two hours that video became the most watched video on YouTube.

* * *

Even though Owen was technically responsible for the death of one of the officers and indirectly responsible for the death of the other officer, neither Owen nor Justin received any extended sentences. After the incident, Justin and Owen were immediately escorted off to the nearest courtroom, where the judge decided that the humiliation they would receive from that YouTube video would be punishing enough for their crimes.

When they returned home, they were met with an endless list of questions from their neighbours about the experience. Justin responded by showing them away and dragging Owen back to their apartment.

"What's the matter with you?!" Owen demanded. "People love us even more now!"

"Owen, what drugs are you on?!" screeched Justin. "These people were asking us questions because they want to find out how degrading it was for us to experience what we experienced!"

"I didn't find it degrading at all," Owen insisted.

"That's because you're an idiot," Justin deadpanned. Owen ignored him, sat down on the couch, grabbed the remote and switched on the telly.

"Hey, check this out!" chirped Owen. "We're on TV again!"

"WHAT?!" Justin shrieked and gasped at the same time. The model stared ahead at the TV screen in sheer horror as the news reporter went on and on about the event that took place only a few hours ago. The news reporter also discussed the popularity of the above mentioned YouTube video and confirmed that YouTube does not plan to take the video down even though it has actual, live-action footage of people getting killed. The reporter concluded the headline with a statement about how Owen and especially Justin were such fucking eejits that don't deserve any fans.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Justin. "MY LIVE IS OVER AND THIS IS ALL YOUR FAT, OWEN!" he snarled.

"What did I do?!" Owen gasped innocently.

"FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, OWEN, YOUR GODDAMN FARTS KILLED FIFTEEN PEOPLE IN THE CINEMA A FEW WEEKS AGO AND TODAY YOUR FARTS KILLED TWO OFFICERS!" Justin howled.

"Oh," said Owen, sheepishly, "oops?!"

"'Oops'? We're now the laughing stalks of the whole world and all you can say is 'oops'?!" Justin demanded.

"Well look on the bright side," said Owen, brightly, "even after all that, we still have each other!"

Justin could not believe his roommate actually just said that. Sure, he was aware of Owen's disturbingly obsessive crush on the model, but what Owen just said instantly gave Justin months and months of insomnia. Before Justin could give out to Owen for what he just said and remind him that they are not a couple, there was a series of knocks on the door.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!" echoed an eerily familiar voice from outside the door.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!" the voice repeated.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

Justin sighed relentlessly and answered the door. "What the Hell is it that you want from us now, Trent?!" he demanded.

"I just want to thank you and Owen nine times for blessing me with a ninth toe and a ninth finger!" Trent beamed. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"What are you on about?!" Justin groaned.

"When I found out that you guys killed those two officers, I located their bodies and cut off all of their fingers and toes!" Trent beamed. "I attached one of the fingers onto my right hand and one of the toes onto my left foot! So now I have nine fingers and nine toes!"

"IDIOT!" Harold interjected as he walked past Justin and Trent. "You only have **seven** fingers! Thumbs are not fingers! Curse your obliviousness to the anatomy of the human hand! GOSH!"

"You know what?! I was going to give you an extra finger and an extra toe, but because you have questioned an important prophet for the Ninth God you can just perish for all eternity in the Place Devoid of the Number Nine!" shouted Trent. He turned his head to Justin and said:

"Ignore that blasphemous heretic! He simply won't believe! And you know why? Because he's a blasphemous heretic! That's why!"

"Okay then..." said a disturbed Justin.

"So anyway, are you and Owen interested in having your ninth fingers and ninth toes attached?" Trent eagerly asked.

"We'll pass," Justin droned. Then he slammed the door in Trent's face. The model ignored the banging and rattling of the door an angry Trent was causing. Trent demanded that Justin answered the door, otherwise he would feel the wrath of the Power of the Nine. Justin, aware that this was all complete bull, continued to ignore Trent's empty threats and sat down on the chair next to the couch.

"Shouldn't we answer the door?" Owen asked.

"Nah," Justin shrugged. "It's Trent being a numerical cultist as usual. Can I have the remote so I can put on something that is not going to shatter us emotionally?" he asked, quickly changing the subject. Owen handed Justin the remote and Justin changed the channel from _Keeping up with the Kardashians_ to _Two and a Half Men_. After nine minutes of pounding on the door, Trent eventually gave up and decided to try and get Noah and Cody to add more fingers and toes.

* * *

**So how was this chapter? What did you think of Trent's role in this chapter? What did you think of the caning incident? You can answer all these questions in your review. I'm glad to be back updating my stories again. But between now and the middle of June, updates will continue to be sparse. It's just that I have so much work to do for college and it's not even funny in the slightest. But I'll try to get two more updates for this story done before June, and I'll also try to update **_**Rise of the Planet of the Nine**_** and **_**Battle of the Wings**_** at least once in that time frame. Updates for my other stories have been postponed.**

**Until next time!**


	10. FireEscape

**This may be my last update for the next two and a half weeks. Why? Because I have six deadlines to get done within the next two and a half weeks, so you may have to bear with me until then. But maybe if I'm lucky I'll slip in another update for some of my stories next weekend, depending on whatever situation I'm in. Sadly, that would require a miracle; especially when one of my projects has to be at least 1,200 words long, not including the references, and I haven't even started on that project yet! On the bright side, I finish the last of my exams in mid-May, and when the time comes, I'm going to be epic!**

**Before we begin, I must warn you that Justin is very perverted in this chapter. But this will serve to provide a suitable cliff-hanger for the next chapter. After all, surely Justin deserves to be perverted again after everything he's been put through with Owen, right? Also, something totally unexpected happens in this chapter, so you guys are in for a bigger shock than the time you read my other story, _Ocrais_.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Fire/Escape

* * *

Justin made sure that Owen was sound asleep before climbing out the window and onto the fire escape. After all these months, tonight was finally his night.

Basically, Justin decided he wanted to go spy on the girls Why not. After months and months of Owen getting too close to Justin's comfort zone, it was about time he got to witness some boobs. The time he saw Sierra and Lindsay up on the tree ages ago didn't count as it resulted in very awkward predicaments for the unfortunate ex-model.

Justin peered into one window to see a sad Duncan masturbating. Justin rolled his eyes. What he saw did not surprise him at all. He moved on the peer into the next window, only to see a grumpy Chef Hatchet doing the same. All of a sudden, Justin felt a force grabbing him and pulling him down. As it turned out, it was Chris McLean that did it.

"What's your problem?!" demanded Justin.

"SH! Do want to get caught?!" Chris hissed.

"No," said Justin. "I was hoping to spy on the women."

"Well **I** was hoping for Chef to catch me spying on him," Chris hissed. "If he catches anyone spying on them, he will open his window, grab the person and pull him in for a shift if he's a hot dude in Chef's opinion, otherwise Chef will just kill that person. I can't have you getting killed while you're at the height of your popularity, which is ironic if you ask me," he jeered.

Justin was livid. "Are you saying I'm not hot enough?!" he snapped.

"Why would you care, you're straight?" said Chris, shrugging.

"Well at least **someone** is smart enough to know I'm not in a relationship with Owen!" Justin huffed.

"Well I'm glad you're straight, otherwise your ordeal would not be as funny!" Chris chuckled.

"You're a sick, sadistic bastard, Chris McLean," groaned Justin.

"Well it's not my problem," sneered Chris. The lights in Chef's room went on. "Well, that's my cue! Good luck with being forever alone and forever humiliated!" Then Chef opened the window, grabbed Chris by the arm, pulled him into his room and closed down the window shut.

To say that Justin was angry with Chris would be an understatement. He decided to get a sneak peek through Chef's bedroom window to see if Chef kills Chris. At first, Justin witnessed Chef tossing Chris onto his bed and climbing on top of the latter. Chris looked profoundly excited over this, believing in his sick fantasies. Justin decided there was no point in looking through that window anymore, now that it appeared that Chef wasn't going to torture Chris anytime soon on top of the fact that Justin was straight. Just as Justin left the scene in search of something tasteful, he could hear a shriveled scream coming from Chef's bedroom.

"AH! CHEF! NO! NOT THE HAIR! NOT THE FUCKING HAIR! AAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

This put a smile on Justin's face, but remembering who was mercilessly torturing Chris to no end, Justin decided it was too dangerous to stick around. He descended down the stairs onto the lower section of the fire-escape right before Chef re-opened his window to make sure that no-one was spying on him. He peered into a random window to see Blaineley and Izzy making out. Surprisingly, it was Blaineley that was initiating the pleasures. Perhaps she was only faking her disdain towards Izzy because she was playing hard to get and that does in fact turn Izzy on.

As much as he would love to witness more of this beautiful femslash going on at the other side of the glass, Justin would prefer not to have Izzy tear him to shreds. He remembers with a shudder a few days ago when he casually said hi to Izzy as he passed her by in the corridor and she nearly killed him. Justin tried out the next window to see Lindsay and Sierra having a conversation on their bed.

"Another day, another sad, confused and angry face from Tyler," Lindsay smiled evilly. "He's such an idiot for falling for it."

"Not as much of an idiot as Heather," Sierra added. "I can't believe she fell for that in Season 1!"

"I know right," Lindsay chirped. "Even to this day the bitch still does not know that I have stolen five grand from her wallet. What idiot brings a whole load of money to a reality show?"

"I dunno, someone expecting to be on a reality show like _Jersey Shore_," Sierra giggled.

Justin was shocked by all of this. He cannot believe that Lindsay was actually scheming Heather and Tyler this whole time! He also cannot believe that Lindsay managed to pull off that level of stupidity effortlessly. This was so bizarre that Justin knew he was going to be awake all night for the next few nights just thinking out it. Although Justin knew he could use this to his advantage, he also knew that Sierra would kill him if she thought he was going to rat the couple out. After all, assuming that Lindsay stole money from Chris as he was hitting on her and nobody was looking, Justin couldn't help but smile knowing that Lindsay managed to give some of the rotten people in his life some well-deserved karma.

He climbed further down the fire-escape and looked into another random window. What Justin saw was the most shocking and riveting thing he's ever seen since he moved here.

Prior to that encounter, Justin, like virtually everybody else, was certain that Courtney and Gwen were bitter enemies beyond the point of reconciliation.

* * *

**And so there's our cliff-hanger. While I was typing this chapter up, I decided to refer back to the first chapter. If you remember what happened in the first chapter, then you should know what is happening right before Justin's eyes… not that Gwen and Courtney are aware of that.**

**Sorry there was no Creepy Owen, but at least we got a douse of Creepy Chris. Right at this point in time, it remains to be seen whether or not Owen will appear in the next chapter. Rest assured, he will render you speechless in the next chapter he appears in.**

**I checked how many words I have written for this document, and I've exceeded 1,200. It took only an hour and a half to write that fic. Well now that I did that, I'll have more confidence in writing my essay. And don't worry, it's not going to be anything like my stories. Hell no! The filter between my brain and my fingers forces itself on whenever I start working on an essay or project.**

**I'll see you guys in two and a half weeks unless I review whatever stories I come across during my free time.**


	11. Just When Things Couldnt Get Any Weirder

**I've decided that this will be my last update until the 19****th**** of May. My first exam is this Saturday coming and I have two other exams to do. I finish on the 18****th****, but I'm going out to party that night, so by no later than the 20****th**** of May will you see a new story, or the next chapter for any of the stories I'm currently working on. But enjoy this chapter anyway… and try not to have nightmares about it, heh-heh.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Just When Things Couldn't Get Any Weirder

* * *

Justin lost ten percent of his blood that night. Literally. He got a nosebleed from secretly watching Gwen and Courtney having sex in Gwen's living room. It explained why Gwen and Courtney lived next to each other despite their alleged feud, and why Gwen dumped Duncan and why Courtney forced Duncan to wear a dress every time they shifted while they were 'dating'.

Justin could use that as blackmail against Courtney and Gwen, but then he remembered how dangerous Courtney can get when threatened. He decided to leave them be. Besides, he found it to be quite hilarious how Duncan is now single yet still horny. Serves him right, thought Justin, it was his fault for being the writer's pet. Justin decided he's had enough fun for one night and headed up towards his and Owen's apartment. However, Heather stood in his way.

"Um, can I help you?" Justin asked.

"Definitely," hissed Heather. "I want you to have sex with me!"

"Um… aren't you supposed to be in a committed relationship with Alejandro?" Justin wondered.

"Yes, but this morning he said I could pick whoever I want to be his sex-slave," said Heather. "Plus, he finds you attractive and wants to have sex with you as well," she added.

"Seriously?!" shrieked Justin. "Is everyone in this apartment block bisexual or something?!"

"No," said Heather. "Blaineley, Brick, Chef, Cody, Courtney, Lindsay, Noah, Sierra and Scott are homosexuals, and Beth, Bridgette, Cameron, Dakota, Dawn, Ezekiel, Geoff, Harold, me, Jo, LeShawna, Sam and Tyler are heterosexuals."

"I'm straight as well!" Justin insisted.

"Please, you're like, too desperate to be attracted to just one gender," Heather sneered. She snapped her fingers. Justin found himself being lifted off the ground by hunky, Spanish hands.

"ALEJANDRO, PUT ME DOWN!" shrieked Justin.

"Hush, senior," Alejandro hissed menacingly. "You don't want us to hurt you, right?" Suddenly, the lights in Gwen's bedroom went on. Gwen opened the window and stuck her head out.

"Okay, I am not sure what is going on out here, and I'm also not sure if I want to know what is going on out here, but I do know that some of us are trying to sleep!" Gwen hissed. "By the way, Courtney's room is within earshot, so you could easily wake her up from her sleep. If she's woken up wrongfully… it won't be pleasant. Now fuck off." She stuck her head back in and slammed down the window, shut. Alejandro snarled as he dropped Justin.

"You are lucky, amigo!" hissed Alejandro.

"VERY lucky!" Heather added. They both left the fire escape with their arms interlocked. Justin sighed with relief.

All of a sudden, Beth opened her window, climbed out, went up to Justin and kicked him in the balls. She walked back to her window, climbed back in and closed the window shut with content, knowing that she's gotten back at Justin for manipulating her. Justin clutched his crotch, fell to his knees and threw up. Just when the male model thought that things at Total Drama Towers could not get any weirder, they actually do get weirder.

* * *

Because Justin was so dizzy after Beth kicked him in the balls, he fell backwards off the fire-escape and landed on the concrete. It took him half an hour to put up with the pain on his balls, back, left arm and legs, but thankfully he was only one storey above the ground where Beth kicked him, so Justin did not sustain any injuries.

Justin crawled over to the main entrance of the apartment block and heaved himself up in order to push open the door. He fell into the building and continued to crawl along the corridors in search of his apartment. Two hours of crawling later (it wasn't helped by the fact that Justin got lost) Justin managed to make it all the way to the door of his and Owen's apartment. Justin finally composed himself and found the strength to stand up on his own two feet independently. He dusted himself off and opened the door, only to be greeted by the most unusual, and most frightening sight in his life.

Right before Justin's very eyes was a long table with white cloth over it. A chandelier with low-watt bulbs, which was the only source of light in the apartment, loomed above the table. At both ends of the table was a plate. Each plate had a fork to its left, a spoon to its right and a knife right above it. Also next to each plate was a wine glass half filled with red wine. On each plate were pieces of chicken, a few spuds, a handful of peas, some cooked carrots and a few roast parsnips. At the centre of the table was a Lazy Susan with containers of salt, pepper, vinegar, ketchup, barbeque sauce, mayonnaise and custard. Normally, Justin would be okay with this, but not if this was happening at 5am in the morning.

What was most disturbing of all was the person who was sitting at the far end of the table, dressed in a black suit, smelling fresh, having combed his hair and having not yet touched his food.

"Uhhhh…" Justin tried to speak.

"Hello, Justin," said Owen, in a happy, yet menacing tone. "When I found out that you were gone, I prepared you a little snack. I also dressed for the occasion and created some atmosphere to make it more romantic." He smiled evilly. Justin cringed in sheer horror, but managed to keep his cool and asked:

"W-what's going on?"

"Oh, you think I don't know?!" Owen's smile scrunched up into a scowl.

Justin was taken aback by this. "Excuse me?" he demanded.

"You think I don't notice when you sneak out of our apartment?!" Owen snarled. "Who is she?! Or who is he? OR WHATEVER GENDER THAT FUCKER IS?!"

"No one, I swear!" Justin shouted, defiantly putting his hands in front of him, as if to deny he did something that he actually did.

"Are you lying?!" snarled Owen.

"NO!" snapped Justin.

"Tell me the truth, Justin." Owen's voice was lower now. "What were you doing while you were outside?!"

Justin was speechless. Right at this point, he had no clue what to tell Owen. He analysed everything that had happened that night. Finally, Justin found his voice and a way to explain what he was up to a few hours ago.

"I…I was playing..." Justin began.

"WITH WHO?!" Owen snapped.

"NOBODY!" shrieked Justin. "Just myself! I swear! I was playing by myself on the fire escape!" This wasn't a lie; Justin was playing with himself on the fire escape that night, until Heather and Alejandro showed up.

"YOU WERE LOOKING THROUGH THE WINDOWS THAT NIGHT, WEREN'T YOU, JUSTIN!" Owen bellowed, picking up his knife and pointing it at Justin. "ADMIT IT!" Okay, that was true, but was Justin really going to admit it if that meant that Lindsay, Sierra, Izzy, Blaineley, Gwen and Courtney were going to kill him. Justin knew very well that Owen was a terrible liar, and terrible at keeping secrets too. If Justin was wanting to survive this awkward encounter, he was going to have to lie, which is basically what he's good at doing, that's for sure.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Justin insisted. "I was just masturbating to myself on the fire escape about me and you in bed together! I did it out there because I wanted to imagine ourselves in bed all alone out in a forest!" Owen was not fully sure whether or not to believe it, but he decided to lower his knife place it back to the right of his plate.

"Good!" Owen hissed. "Because if I find out that you are being unfaithful to me, I will cut myself! But before I cut myself, I will cut **you**! YOU GOT IT?!" Justin nodded in terror. He knew when he was beaten.

"I love you Justin!" Owen growled, both jealously and maniacally.

"I love you femslash through the windows over the fire-escape!" Justin replied, before he could stop himself.

"WHAT?!"

"Err – I mean Owen!"

* * *

**Dun! Dun! Dun! Owen's acting out, and we learn how possessive he really is. Tell me, which one of you guys were expecting that? Admittedly, I never thought I was going to include that scene when I first started writing this fic, so even I am creped out. And I was the one who wrote it! That ending was also the whole purpose of the previous chapter.**

**So now Justin has even more of a reason to leave Owen… as soon as his twenty-four months are up. Surely, Owen will have mellowed out by then. Or maybe he will probably kill Justin? I won't know yet, until I start working on the next chapter, which won't be for another two weeks. Of course, after my exams, I will go mad wit updates, so you guys will have something to look forward to. In case any of you guys are wondering, I will continue to write this story until I run out of ideas. I will have to write probably eleven or so more chapters in order to run out of ideas, so there's still more hilarity to come.**

**Until next time!**


	12. Daymare

**Prepare yourself for another disturbing round of being in a gas chamber – err, I mean, the presence of Owen. This chapter was written at around one o'clock in the morning, which shows that your creativity levels get a huge boost at this hour of the night… actually, what I said is not official unless you guys enjoyed this chapter, because if most of you were disturbed, then my story is not creative. It's just a manifestation of how willing I am to admit that I am demented… you guys should try it sometime, it will probably ease the world slightly of its overall judgemental nature. Now enjoy… or be disturbed. It's entirely up to you.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Daymare

* * *

Justin was forced to sit down and eat the meal with Owen, even though he was not hungry and that it was nearly dawn. In fact, Justin made it clear to Owen a few weeks ago, when Owen offered him a midnight snack, that it went against Justin's beauty to have large meals in the early hours of the morning. Now that he's been banned from modelling, Justin shouldn't really worry about eating this early in the morning. Of course, it is unusual to eat this early in the morning, and Owen was not helping the situation at all by giving Justin those suspicious glances every now and then.

It got worse. After the meal, Owen forced Justin to tidy up. That meant doing dirty work, which was not exactly Justin's cup of tea. Additionally, Justin had no clue whatsoever as to how to use the dishwasher, and Owen refused to teach him, so Justin had to be the dishwasher and wash the dishes in the sink. True, the instructions for using the dishwasher were right on the control panel, but Justin simply could not be bothered to read them, thinking it would take longer than to hand-wash the dishes himself.

Washing the dishes was hard work. Justin lost count of how many times he scolded himself off of the hot water, or got stains on his skin. Owen's relentless glare was not making this any easier for Justin. But Justin feared that if he told Owen that his glare was giving him the creeps, Owen would probably duck his head under the water in the sink and drown him. Also, every time Justin washed or cleaned a plate, glass or piece of cutlery, Owen would inspect it to see if it was spotless. If Owen saw even an atom on the plate, glass or piece of cutlery, he would make poor Justin wash the apparatus again. It was very cruel, but on the bright side, at least Owen was being meticulous for once. But why did he have to start being meticulous when he was punishing Justin? Is he going to continue being meticulous? Justin doubted it. Would you blame him for it? No. Especially when Owen is almost never meticulous. This may very well be just a once-in-a-lifetime glitch.

It was dawn by the time Justin was finished with the dishes. After he was finished putting away the dishes, Justin turned to Owen and said:

"Okay, I've done the dishes. Can I go to sleep now?"

"Fine, but from now on, you can only sleep in my bed!"

"But-"

"AND I want **no** arguments! Got it?!" Owen gave Justin another menacing glare. Justin sighed. He knew when he was beaten. He got into his pyjamas and climbed into Owen's bed.

And boy, you would not believe how putrid that bed smelt like.

* * *

A man in a white suit was standing before a large audience of approximately 1,500 to 3,500 people. The man in the suit stood at the podium and was reading into the microphone from the cards in his hand.

"And now we have the holder of first place for the competition!" the man in the white suit barked. The official winner of this year's _Annual Worldwide Young Adult Beauty Pageant_ goes to…

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"…JUSTIN!" The entire auditorium erupted into loud cheers, whoops, whistles, cries of delight and bangs of applause as Justin, dressed in a silky silver suit with a silky golden shirt and a silky platinum tie, stood up from his cheer. Flashing a grin that displayed a set of shiny teeth to the emotional audience, Justin casually sauntered over to the podium as he waved to the crowd. Two women in red bikini's and red makeup went over to Justin and hugged him. Each one gave him a kiss on either cheek. One woman, a dazzling brunette, handed Justin the gold trophy, while the other woman, a lavishing blonde, attached a blue ribbon with a gold '#1' on it to his shirt. Justin could not be any more exhilarated as the man in the white suit placed his hand on Justin's shoulder and said:

"JUSTIN! Congratulations! You have earned this award! If you have a speech you would like to share with us, your audience would be most delighted to listen to it!"

Justin beamed and nodded. "THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" he chanted. "You guys have made me so happy! No seriously, you guys are a wonderful audience!" The audience awed at Justin's comment. Justin continued on with his speech. "Anyway, I would like to thank each and every one of you guys for all of your undying support! First of all, I would like to thank the voters and the judges for making the right decision! I would like to thank my support team for helping me to motivate myself to maintain my beauty! Finally, I would like to thank Owen for- OWEN?!" Justin stopped short when he caught a glimpse of Owen running down the ramp between the two blocks of chairs where the members of the audience were sitting.

"Owen! What are you doing here?!" Justin demanded. Owen leapt onto the stage, ran up to Justin and tackled the model to the ground. He flung the model over his shoulder.

"You, you egocentric prick, are coming with me!" Owen snarled.

"WHAAAAAAH?!" Justin spluttered.

"Excuse me, what is the meaning of this?!" the man in the white suit interjected. Owen responded by shoving the man in the white suit right into the girls in the red bikinis, causing all three of them to fall off the stage. The audience shrieked in utter horror.

"OWEN, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Justin shrieked. Owen ignored him, pulled down his pants and boxers, and aimed his anus right at the frightened crowd. Next, the big loveable oaf – or so he **was** the big loveable oaf – unleashed a torrent of nauseous, toxic farts right at the audience before pulling his pants back up and fleeing. Within seconds, the entire building was a gas chamber. Every single person that was inside that building died of asphyxia from the farts. Of course, Owen and Justin made it outside on time, but Justin's fate was no better than the fate of the poor souls that were tragically left behind in the building which was now beginning to degenerate.

Justin was too traumatised from the incident to speak. Within a few minutes, they were back at the apartment, which was strange, considering that the now derelict building where the pageant was taking place was in Toronto. Owen threw Justin onto the bed, ripped off all of Justin clothes and took off his own clothes.

Next, Owen flipped Justin over so that the unfortunate model was stomach down, and the former climbed onto the latter so that he could-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" shrieked Justin, as he awoke in a jolt. He surveyed his surroundings. He was in Owen's bedroom. It was light outside; probably around noon. It was all a dream. Justin sighed in sheer relief.

But before he could lay back down, Justin could not help but notice a bollock-naked Owen sitting in a wicker chair in the corner of the room, glancing relentlessly at Justin.

* * *

**Dun! Dun! Dun! A naked Owen in the corner of the room is NEVER a good thing, no matter what sexuality you are, that's for sure. In fact, I'm pretty sure being in a room with Owen would be like being in a gas chamber. I dreamt that I had a gas chamber in my back garden a few days ago, but surprisingly, Owen was not in the dream; otherwise it would've been a nightmare like the one Justin just had.**

**That nightmare sure is going to have an effect on Justin's perspective of Owen. We all know what that means, right? But seriously, what is with Owen sitting in the corner of the room, naked?! It's for me to know, and you guys to find out in the next chapter of **_**My Big Fat Creepy Roommate**_**!**

**Until next time!**


	13. Aftershock

**This is the chapter where the story gets EXTREMELY fucking angst. Believe me, there is a scene in this chapter that will either scare the shit out of you or turn you on… or both. It depends on what your deal is, how filthy-minded you are and how faint-hearted you are. I assume most of you will either be turned on your laughing your ass off, because you'd read this chapter anyway after having read the previous twelve chapters. The rest of you may be scared shitless. If you do get scared shitless, don't say I didn't warn ya.**

**Also, this chapter has some content in it that his halfway between T-rated territory and M-rated territory. I'll be keeping this fic at T, so this chapter maybe the closest this story will ever get to M-rated territory. This does not necessarily mean that this chapter will be the most disturbing chapter, however.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

Aftershock

* * *

Owen sat in the chair. He was glaring over at Justin. Not only was Owen naked, it also appeared to Justin that Owen had been sitting in that chair ever since Justin fell asleep. He hardly seemed to have left that chair at all, not even to go to the toilet. Justin knew this because he could clearly see the traces of urine on Owen's legs. Some of the traces were too white to be urine…. Justin decided it was best to stop analysing the situation.

"Uh… Owen? What are you doing here?" Justin finally asked.

"I was waiting for you to wake up," Owen replied.

"That's just… creepy," Justin cringed.

"I'm afraid I can't help it, Justin," said Owen, sternly. "I can't stand being apart from you for so long."

"Okay then…"

"Justin, I'm feeling lonely over here."

"And?"

"I want you to come over here." Owen stretched his arms out commandingly. Unlike most open arms, Owen's were in no way welcoming. In fact, Owen was still glaring at Justin.

Justin gulped. He did not want to go anywhere near Owen. In fact, he felt that even at this distance, Owen was still too close to him. However, he did not want to disobey Owen. Only a few hours ago, Owen was a happy, jolly, blissfully ignorant buffoon, and now look at him. Owen might get worse. With a sigh, Justin stood up and quietly walked over to Owen. With every step the former model took, the room appeared larger and slightly more menacing. After what felt like an eternity to poor Justin – even though technically it was only three seconds – he was merely ten centimetres away from Owen.

"What took you so long?" Owen demanded. Justin was too stunned to answer. Owen was still glaring at him.

"Take off your clothes."

"What?"

"Take off your clothes." Owen was getting very impatient.

"Why?" Justin asked, terrified of what the answer may be.

"Because if you don't, we will still be apart when you're sitting on my lap," was Owen's stern reply.

Justin was horrified. He knew he was not going to like the answer. "But… I-I don't want to-"

"TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!" Owen finally bellowed, banging the armrest with his fist. Justin shook in fright as he took of his pyjamas. He kept his boxers on, but Owen was having none of it.

"I want it **all** off," Owen hissed. Justin was sweating profusely. His stomach was twisting itself into knots at this point. Nevertheless, Justin's boxers slid down his sweaty legs. Justin stood there, sweating buckets upon buckets of water. Owen slapped his thighs, obviously getting tired of Justin dragging it out. Justin slowly turned around and gripped the tips of the armrests before leaning backwards.

Soon enough, Justin's weight was fully committed to Owen's knees. Justin continued to sweat. He was too scared to look behind him. Suddenly, a feeling of profound terror surged through the entirety of Justin's body as he felt one big hand clasp his right hip and another big hand clasp his left knee. Justin cringed as he felt himself being pulled back and turned around in a ninety degree angle. Owen had Justin's head pressed against his right shoulder. Justin made a silent prayer that this ordeal would eventually come to an end within the next thirty seconds.

Unfortunately, thirty minutes have passed, and Justin was still confined to sitting on Owen's three legs.

* * *

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!" echoed an eerily familiar voice from outside the door.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!" the voice repeated.

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

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*Knock*

*Knock*

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"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

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"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

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"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

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*Knock*

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*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"Justin and Owen!"

Owen answered the door. He was wearing his regular clothes and got cleaned up from this morning, so there was nothing that could mentally scar Trent.

"Can I help you?" Owen asked.

"Definitely," said Trent. "I'm here because I have held the whole apartment block hostage."

"WHAT?!" shrieked Owen.

"I have found enough fingers and toes for everybody to have nine fingers and toes," Trent explained. "So until you and Justin add a ninth finger and a ninth toe, no one will be allowed to leave this building."

"Has everyone added a ninth finger and a ninth toe?" Owen asked.

"That's what they've told me," Trent answered. "They'd better have done it," he mumbled.

"Okay, I'll do it," Owen smiled, gullibly. "But unlike other people, I might need your help. Let's start with Justin!"

"Sure!" Trent beamed, following Owen to Owen's bedroom. When Owen opened the door, a horrible sight met his eyes. Each pole of the bedpost had a pair of handcuffs attached. However, the other end of three of the four pairs of hand cuffs were open. The other end of the fourth pair of handcuffs remained securely locked.

The keys to the handcuffs were laid on the bed. Right next to them was a note. Owen ran up to the note, picked it up and unfolded it to read it. It read:

_Dear Owen,_

_Fuck you! I'm straight! I don't like you that way! And after the way you've treated me, especially this morning, I don't like you at all! Knowing that you would eventually resort to domestic violence, I've decided to run away! Maybe if you went to bed last night or while I was in bed, you wouldn't have been out cold for three hours after you forced me to sit on you! While you were probably having wet dreams about me, I packed my bags, took all the money and left! Chris can try and sue me all he wants, but surely there's a country out there where that bloody contract is not legally binding! I'm never coming back, never! If you go anywhere near me, I will have the cops after ya!_

_Regards,_

_Justin!_

_P.S.: Tell Trent he's a fucking eejit! How the Hell does he expect to hold us all hostage in the building if he keeps leaving the keys on the main door?! In fact, how does he expect to hold us all hostage if he's only one on his side and he's up against forty-something people and we all have our own keys?! Does he honestly believe he can pull it off with 'the Power of the Nine'?!_

Owen's jaw dropped. He could not find the words to speak, until Trent asked:

"What does the note say?"

"JUSTIN LEFT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" sobbed Owen, falling to his knees and unleashing the loudest, longest cry he could muster. "Oh, and Justin says to tell you that you're a fucking eejit," Owen casually added.

* * *

**Dun! Dun! Dun!**

**What will Owen do now that Justin has abandoned him?! What will Trent do now that the Power of the Nine failed to keep Justin constrained?! WHEN WILL THIS STORY STOP WITH THE FIGHTENING INNUENDO?! Never, maybe?**

**By the way, if you enjoyed _My Big Fat Creepy Roommate_, then you'll love _Post-Dramatic Mayhem_, _T__he Hatchets_ and, OF COURSE, _Happilly Civilly Unionised_. This story is basically a lighter version of _My Big Fat Creepy Roommate_, except the main couple actually gets married. Oh, and Trent is still obsessed with the number nine in this story. He even takes that obsession to a greater extreme.**

**Until next time!**


	14. From One Hole to Another

**Sorry for not updating in what… a month, maybe? I dunno. It's been so long since I've updated this story. Well, Chapter 14 is here. Plus, this is the first Chapter 14 I have written since I changed my penname to RedEyedWarrior. Anyway, moving on, the scenes in this chapter may not be as inappropriate as the scenes you've read in the previous one, but be warned: they will shock you. A couple of plot twists await.**

* * *

My Big Fat Creepy Roommate

From One Hole to Another

* * *

Owen burst into tears. He was crying profusely.

He was not crying as long or as loud as Trent, however.

"WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH!" wailed Trent.

Jo stormed into the room. She was very annoyed.

"Will you both please SHUT IT?!" she shouted.

"B-b-b-but MY JUSTY-POO LEFT ME!" wailed Owen.

"AND HE DIDN'T EVEN ADD A NINTH FINGER OR TOE!" wailed Trent.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" wailed Owen.

"WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAH!" wailed Trent.

"ENOUGH!" shouted Jo. This effectively silenced Owen and Trent.

"Good," said Jo, growling. "I'm glad that's sorted. You guys really need to learn how to cry quietly so that the rest of us won't have to put up with it."

"How could you be so insensitive?!" Owen sobbed.

"Because you idiots are crying for the stupidest of reasons!" Jo scoffed. "Owen! We know what's been going on for the past few weeks between you and Justin and we don't like it. We know that Justin's life for these past few weeks have been like _Trainspotting_ thanks to you. He's practically done the right thing leaving you. And Trent! Seriously?! Lay off that obsession will ya?!"

"It's not an obsession you blasphemous heretic!" Trent scolded. "It's a **religion**!"

"Fine, we'll compromise; it's a **religious cult**," Jo sneered, rolling her eyes.

"HOW DARE YOU?!" shrieked Trent. "AND HOW COME ALL I SEE ARE EIGHT FINGERS ON YOUR HANDS?!"

"You really think we'd attach extra digits for the sake of a number?" Jo jeered. "Screw this! I'm outta here!" She walked out of the room, smirking to herself.

Trent ran up to the doorway and yelled: "COME BACK HERE! FACE THE WRATH OF THE POWER OF THE NINE!" All Trent received as a reply was the slamming of the main door. He sighed nine times and turned to face Owen, who was now lying on the bed. To Trent's horror, Owen was wearing Emo make-up and highlights. Additionally, instead of wearing a white t-shirt, Owen was wearing a black one. His pants were also a light shade of grey instead of being citrus.

"How in the Place Devoid of the Number Nine did you change your clothes in such a short space of time?!" shrieked Trent.

"It doesn't matter," Owen sobbed. "Nothing matters. Nothing."

"Okay, that was just borderline disturbing," said Trent, shuddering. "Even for you."

"So what?" Owen sobbed. "Without Justin, nothing else matters."

"Okay, this is seriously becoming a _Twilight_," said Trent, cringing. "And I hate _Twilight_. How could I not? There's only eight letters in _Twilight_. _**EIGHT**_!"

"No book nor vampire nor werewolf nor boring Mary-Sue character could ease the pain of Justin's absence," Owen sobbed.

"Owen, for the sake of the Ninth God you need to get over Justin," said Trent, sternly. "Besides, you two were never meant to be together anyway."

Owen snapped out of his trance and glared furiously at Trent. "Trent! How could you say such a thing?!" he gasped.

"What?" Trent shrugged. "'Owen' and 'Justin' do not equal nine. You should be dating someone with five letters or fourteen letters or whatever name that adds both your names up to a number that can be divided by nine."

"HOW DARE YOU?!" snarled Owen. "HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT JUSTIN AND I WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE?! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR CULT!"

"For the last time, IT'S NOT A CULT! IT'S A **RELIGION**!" Trent shouted. He lunged for Owen and a huge fight commenced.

* * *

Justin was running as fast as his (not-so) pretty legs could carry him. He was running faster than he has ever ran before. Considering the predicaments he was in, the speed at which he was going is very understandable, even for someone who would hate Justin with a passion.

Of course, Justin was only running for a couple of minutes. In other words, he did not run very far. He was lucky Owen was too busy sobbing and fighting with Trent to come after him. Sadly, there's a reason why Justin didn't make it very far.

When he was two blocks away from the apartment, Justin was grabbed and pulled into the alleyway. Justin wanted to kick and scream but he didn't. He didn't want to make a scene. He didn't want people to think he was as weak as he truly was, even though they already know because the tabloid newspapers never gave him any privacy in recent weeks. So naturally, Justin just allowed his assailant to drag him down the alleyway, down a flight of stairs and into a damp, cramped cellar. Justin's assailant placed the former model sitting on a chair.

His assailant walked ten paces in front of Justin, turned around and got down on one knee.

He spoke.

"Justin! I-I'm sorry for the way I've treated you since you got here!" he sobbed.

Justin was confused out of his mind. "What… what?" he choked.

"I… had no excuse! None! Such a handsome young man like you deserves nothing but kindness and utmost respect!" the assailant sobbed.

"Uh… thanks, I guess?" Justin was still confused.

"Justin… w-will you… will you…"

"Yes?"

"Will you marry me Justin?" the assailant asked, stretching out his hand. On the palm of that hand was a little red box. The assailant opened it, revealing a golden wedding ring. The ring was so shiny, it nearly blinded Justin.

Of course, Justin was profoundly uncomfortable. "E-e-excuse me?" he asked.

"Will you marry me Justin?" the assailant asked again.

Then it hit Justin. Hard. He realised exactly what was going on.

"I can't," was Justin's answer.

The assailant was bewildered. "Sorry?" he asked.

"I can't, Chef! I just can't!" Justin shouted.

Chef looked like he got hit by a train. "WHAT?!" he scowled.

"Look, I appreciate your sincere apology," Justin confessed. "Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all the effort you've put into it. But with all due respect, you're just not my type. It's no one's fault. It's just the way it is."

Chef stood up. Needless to say, he did not take the rejection very seriously. "Why? You don't like me because I'm not physically attractive enough for you? Eh?!"

"No, it's the gender," Justin explained.

Chef was fuming. "Y'know pretty boy, I ain't takin' no for an answer!" he growled.

"I'm afraid you have no choice," Justin replied. "Doesn't a marriage contract have to be mutually consensual?" he asked.

"I don't care!" Chef snarled. "You will be my husband! My obedient, submissive, faithful husband!"

"I… don't want to be the bottom," Justin cringed.

Chef went up to Justin, grabbed the model by the shirt and pinned him against the wall. "Did you not hear a word I just said?!" he snarled. "I. Said. I. Want. An. Obedient. _**SUBMISSIVE**_. Faithful. Husband."

"Then find someone else!" Justin snarled back. Chef threw Justin against the opposite wall.

"You are making so many mistakes young man," Chef breathed. "Don't you want to live?"

"Not really," Justin replied. "My looks have all gone out the window. What have I got to live for now?!" he questioned himself.

"Well too bad, maggot," Chef hissed. "You're gonna live. And if you don't be my husband… you will become my **slave**!"

Justin had only two words to say to this as Chef yanked Justin and flung the latter over the former's shoulder and set off somewhere where Justin would most likely be imprisoned, quite possibly for a long time.

"Oh shit."

* * *

**Dun! Dun! Dun!**

**Chef has kidnapped Justin! Will he be better or worse than Owen? It's for me to decide and you guys to find out. Speaking of Owen, I wonder how the fight between him and Trent will turn out. We'll see.**

**Until next time!**


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